New Year’s Release-O-Lutions (Part One)


The New Year is upon us, and the tradition of a New Year’s Resolution looms over your head. What was it last year? The year before that? How long did it last? Do you even remember what it was?

“I should be more….

“I should do more…

“I will always…

“I will never…

Do any of those sound familiar?

This year at Green Mountain at Fox Run, we are looking at it differently. We are calling it New Year Release-O-Lutions. We are thinking about the things we might want to release out of our lives…things like:

  • Negative self-talk (letting go of our inner mean girl)
  • The quest for perfection
  • The relentless quest to “fit in”
  • Regrets
  • Resentments
  • Energy-sucking people
  • And others…I am sure you can think of some more.  

These are among those things that we do in life, that don’t serve us in the long run.

How about we take a closer look…

Negative Self-Talk

That persistent inner mean girl pounces on you every chance she gets, whether it is something you said, something you did, or a sideways glance in a mirror.

She is always there ready and waiting for any opportunity she gets to let you know just how not good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, and not thin enough you are. This inner mean girl voice has a rough tone; she is harsh and degrading.

This year how about releasing this mean inner voice and replacing it with one that is more kind, caring and compassionate?

1. Listen and acknowledge her when she appears.

You must notice her presence before you can change it. Listen with a new-found curiosity. “Hmmmm…what is she trying to do? Why is she being so mean? Why is she so angry with me? Why is she talking so loudly?”

2. Question her…without judgement, in a kinder and softer voice.

“That is really interesting you feel that way. Really? Is that a fact? Am I really?”

3. Change the voice and the words.

Try something like, “I’m doing the best I can, I’m taking better care of myself every day, I am human, Thanks for sharing, your words are hurtful and not helpful, no thank you.”

This year, begin to strengthen your internal voice by making her your friend, not your enemy. Welcome and embrace this new kind and compassionate voice that you find. Let her words help lift you up, not tear you down.

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Releasing the Quest for Perfection

Many of us have the internal drive to be perfect…but where in the handbook of life did it say that on the day you were born, you were to be perfect? That the life that lay before you would go exactly the way that you want and plan? Isn’t it within your challenges, mistakes and experiences that you grow, learn and change?

Your imperfections are exactly what make you unique. It is what draws others towards you.

It is within this uniqueness that you can find deeper connections with others. It is where you find out that you are not alone, that others share your pain. It is here where you can help and understand others by sharing your stories and experiences.

This quest for perfection only helps to enlist that inner mean girl to speak up and rear her head.

This year, begin to release this desire for perfection by realizing that you are human. That you are who you are because of your imperfections. It is those exact imperfections that make the perfect you.  

Release the Desire to Fit In

Have you ever pretended to agree with someone? Lied about what you liked to eat? Bought clothes you didn’t even like just to fit in? That all that mattered was that you were liked?

I remember it well, wanting to be liked, wanting to be accepted by the other girls. This is not just something that just kids and teenagers do, it’s something that’s carried into adulthood.

Even today, I find myself agreeing with someone, so that they will like me better. What’s that all about? Changing and molding our thoughts, actions and beliefs just so that we would be liked, fit it, be part of the “in crowd”.

You are not alone, we have a natural need and desire to belong.

Researcher Brené Brown would say that there is a true difference though, between belonging and fitting in.

In an article Brown wrote for Oprah, she describes the difference between the two:

  • Fitting in is assessing situations and groups of people, then twisting yourself into a human pretzel in order to get them to let you hang out with them.”
  • “Belonging is something else entirely – it’s showing up and letting yourself be seen and known as you really are.”

So many of us spend our lives trying to fit in, to be like others…to be perfect.

This is the year of belonging to a group of people who like you because of you, because of your imperfections, because of your talents, your traits, your ideas, your thoughts and your beliefs.

This year let the real you be seen, release the quest for perfection and fitting in and replace the inner mean girl with a kinder, more compassionate friend with whom you BELONG.

This year #BeHerNow! Whoever it is you’re waiting to show up before you can fully live, stop waiting and start living. More information to come in our #BeHerNow email series, and stay tuned for Part 2, where we talk about some other things that might be worth releasing this year.

14 responses to “New Year’s Release-O-Lutions (Part One)”

  1. Janel from California says:

    Thank you Anne for this poignant post. We all need to be reminded occasionally to ignore our inner mean girl and let go of perfectionism. My goal for the year is ito be more compassionate; with myself and others.

    • Anne Poirier, BS, CSCS, AFAA says:

      Hi Janel, I like your goal fo this year. Compassion is such a foundational componant of self care. Nice to hear from you.

  2. lyn dailey says:

    thank you , im going to practice a kinder internal conversation. looking forward to part 2.

  3. Brooke says:

    BRILLIANT! Thank you so much for this. Best post in a long time for me. Love you all.

  4. Amy says:

    Thanks for the much needed reminder. I’ve been putting together a list of SOUL-utions for this year, focusing on what I want for myself throughout this year. These ideas go right along with my plan. My main soul-ution, is this:
    I want to fall in love with me. I want to accept me with my many imperfections and letting go of trying to prove my worthiness. I want to be immersed in the knowledge that I am enough, just as I am, because I’m a child of God.

  5. Debbie says:

    This hits home in so many ways! I love that I can see this in the words that are expressed, rather than only in my mind. I am not alone!

    • Anne Poirier, BS, CSCS, CIEC says:

      Hi Debbie! You are so very right, the validation that we are not the only ones is truly a blessing. The common humanity that we share helps strengthen us on our journeys.

  6. Danielle says:

    My goal is to remember to make progressive and not worry about perfection. I’m human and I am not perfect. But that doesn’t mean I can’t reach my weight loss goal, it just means I need to be kinder to myself in the process.

    • Anne Poirier, BS, CSCS, CIEC says:

      Well stated Danielle. Being Kind and gentle to ourselves does more good than we realize. I read just the other day that it is in our inperfections that make us the perfect us. 🙂

  7. Leslie Ann F. says:

    Hi! I’m finding that I’m NOT simply angry about being overweight and about not “fitting” the picture I have in my mind of what I look like. I’m also angry about getting older . . . getting OLD. I know aging is inevitable, but it’s SOOOO difficult. That’s why I lash out at myself . . . as if I can do anything to hold back time or stop myself from aging.

    So, I am purposing, in 2017, to simply make each day a HAPPY day. I am purposing to wake up and greet the day with a song in my heart.

    And, I thank you for saying what you say to get me started thinking about options OTHER than the options I have in my brain right now. Because, when you tell me about other options, a new door opens and I can see, a little bit, that life has more to offer me, at age 67, than I thought.

    • Anne Poirier, BS, CSCS, CIEC says:

      Thank you for your comment Leslie Ann. Getting older does sneak up on us…and our bodies. Looking at life (and our bodies) through different colored glasses as we age is important. You are right, the truth is we cant stop the clock from ticking, however we can embrace the seconds that we are in.

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About the Author

Anne Poirier, BS, CSCS, CIEC

Former Program Director at Green Mountain | Program Director at Shaping Perspectives - A Woman’s Way to Joy

By sharing experiences and lessons learned through her writing, Anne’s goal is to first, help women finally feel free enough to break away from their dieting chains and learn how to listen and honor their body’s internal cues. Second, to discover and experience more joy in moving their bodies and finally, understand the importance of taking time for themselves. Her philosophy of strengthening the connections among participants’ minds, hearts and bodies fits perfectly with Green Mountain’s philosophy of lasting change through comprehensive, integrative health programming. Anne is the Program Director at Shaping Perspectives - A Woman’s Way to Joy and former Program Director at Green Mountain at Fox Run.

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