When You Feel Like Bingeing, READ THIS


The Binge Eating Diaries When You Feel Like Bingeing Read This

Binge Eating Diaries

It’s okay. You’re okay. We’re together now. Breathe.

If you’ve been reading my blog over the last 3 years, then you probably know me pretty well by now. One thing I hope you know for certain – is that you can trust me.

If you’re new today, welcome. My name is Jacki and if, in this very moment, you’re feigning, craving, and trying to resist the temptation to binge – I get you.

I, too, have faced my own battle against Binge Eating Disorder and to this day, I still struggle with emotional overeating.

Today, I’d like you to consider printing out the bottom part of this blog post and putting it somewhere safe, somewhere that you can get to it when the urge to binge or emotionally overeat is so strong that it hurts – your stomach aches to feel fullness, your mind pleads for numbness, your heart beats and begs for some kind of comfort.

Next time that happens (whether that’s in five minutes or five years) come back to this moment with me.

Related Article:

The Healing Power of Community for Binge Eating

Now, if you’ve been holding your breath, fighting back tears, staring down your reflection, or playing Russian roulette with trigger foods from your pantry… I understand. (Will this be the food that sets me off today?) I have lost this game more times than I can count.

But you’re here now, which means you can breathe. You can fall apart. You can not be okay, and nobody is going to judge you.

This blog is your safety blanket. Let yourself be swaddled. Melt into the idea that you don’t have to go through this moment alone.

In The Moment Before Binge Eating

These moments SUCK.

Sometimes they’re so awful that they overwhelm our senses completely, and POOF! It’s 30 minutes later, and we find ourselves coming to – with a buffet sprawled out on the bed or the kitchen floor… and no memory of where the time (or the food) went.

But sometimes, like right now, we can consciously decide to endure some of the feelings that we want so desperately to stuff down with food.

I know – this is akin to choosing to walk barefoot over hot coals instead of putting on the shoes that are right there… in your size (and your favorite color).

Yes, those coals may burn like hell for a few minutes. And yes, you might feel like you’ll never make it. But, you will. You know you will. You’ve done it before and you’re about to do it again.

(Hang in there. Each moment we stay here together is another moment that neither of us is alone.)

If sitting in silence or solitude is too alarming, consider this: (bear with me now) try throwing your arms around yourself as you brave the fire – give yourself a hug. Too intense? What about a light hand to the heart?

Even though the last thing you might want to do right now is touch yourself… these are the moments when your body needs you the most. Fight for yourself. Your body is used to getting food right about now. It’s urging you to give it something else, some kind of comfort, in place of food.

Finding Comfort & Release In Something Other Than Eating

Or maybe you’re ready for a different kind of release. Let yourself cry, squeeze a stress ball until it threatens to burst, tear up some newspaper in an angry fit, repeat a mantra that you truly believe (or practice one that you want to believe).

Related Article: Do You Have the Healing Touch?

Someone very special to me taught me my go-to mantra, “A feeling is a feeling is a feeling… it requires no action.”

I have it written on an index card hanging up in my room. It’s there when I need it. It doesn’t fix anything, and it’s not magic… but it helps remind me that even when I feel completely out of control, I don’t have to make any sudden movements. I can just “be” until my feelings sort themselves out a little.

If I can take off my blinders long enough, I’ll be able to see that there are other routes to happiness, not just a tunnel (vision) to the kitchen.

(Are you still with me? Are you still breathing? You’re doing so well. I’m proud of you.)

I want you to remember something: Bingeing is not failing. It’s a very real coping mechanism that we use to make it through periods of our lives without giving up.

For me, bingeing was my sole survival tactic for over two years. It wasn’t the healthiest option, and I wasn’t the happiest person… but I made it.

So, please don’t ever think of a bad day as the last day. Please don’t ever think of yourself as bad person. Please believe in yourself and keep doing your best, one day, one hour, one moment at a time.

And don’t feel like you have to do any of it alone.

Overcoming the Urge to Binge Mindlessly

Look at that… we did it. Even if you’ve been eating as you read this blog, that’s okay. You were mindful and in-tune with these words as you ate.

Which means one thing… together, we made it through this blog binge-free.

You, my friend, are incredible.

Until next time,


Did this blog resonate with you? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section below. This is a safe space and you are always welcome here.

B.E.D. Support Card – Cut Here!

Binge Eating SOS Card

40 responses to “When You Feel Like Bingeing, READ THIS”

  1. BJ Whittle says:

    Thanks, Jace. This was an awesome post (they usually are) and a super addition to our toolboxes. 🙂

  2. Vinzinza says:

    Sometimes I don’t think that I will ever recover from this.

    I was originally diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa. Then when I “recovered”, my diagnosis was changed to EDNOS (Eating disorder not otherwise specified), and although I’ve never received an official diagnosis I also suffer from Binge Eating disorder. I often feel as though I’m being torn apart my mind and body are being pulled in so many directions.

    I’ve started walking, but it feels like this small step towards a healthy lifestyle was and is in utter futility considering the contradictory manner of my eating habits. I set a goal for myself to, if not lose a few pound by Halloween, at the very least tone up. I created this goal for myself mid-September and I am still bingeing. I feel like a complete and utter failure. I find myself reading about all of these stories of recovery and can’t help but be a little envious, Because as I mentioned earlier, I feel given all of my afflictions, limitations, and setbacks that recovery was not meant for me.

    All I’ve ever wanted to do is lead some sibilance of a normal life. Don’t know why I’m writing this here, but I guess I felt like I had to do it somewhere. I’m just so tired of disappointment.

    • Jace says:


      I’m glad you decided to write this here. That’s why I write this blog – as an outlet for myself and to open up a space for other people to say whatever they want to or feel the need to say. I know you’ve probably heard this line before… but I REALLY do understand what you’re going through. I don’t always feel as “put together” as my blogs may sound. Some days are still really, really hard.

      Your words “I often feel as though I’m being torn apart my mind and body are being pulled in so many directions” made the hair stand up on the back of my arms. That feeling is very familiar.

      It sounds like you’ve been through an awful lot and you’re extremely self-aware. It takes a lot of courage to write what you wrote – to share exactly how you’re feeling in the moment. I have a hunch that you’re a lot stronger than even you may know. But no matter how strong we are, sometimes we all need a little help. If you haven’t already, maybe you could consider seeking out some support? Talking to a professional could really help. It definitely has helped me along the way.

      It took me a while to understand this concept, but now I firmly believe that exercise doesn’t “not count” if you happen to binge or overeat on the same day. Walking is still a wonderful thing you can do for your body. Any movement at all is so important. Sometimes, I go for a walk after or during a time of emotional eating. It helps to get me out of the kitchen and back “to myself” – even if just for a few minutes. This helps me stay in my current moment. Sometimes setting weight oriented goals can lead to all-or-nothing thinking patterns, which can set us up for that feeling of failure. It’s amazing how much our bodies and minds respond when we focus on “now” instead of weight oriented deadlines.

      The word “recovery” always made me feel a little nervous. Like I’d never get there. Now, I think of this as a journey. This way, there’s no finish line. I’m only trying to be/do/and feel a little bit better each day. I’m not racing to a finish line that doesn’t exist.

      Thank you so much for sharing with us. I’m so sorry you’re hurting, but please know that you are not alone and you can always come back to this blog to read or share. Your words are safe here.


  3. G. L. says:

    Thank you for doing this! it really helped me not wolf down a whole bag of chips and a chocolate bar. I guess all of us are stronger than what we give ourselves credit for! 🙂

    • Jace says:

      Hi G.L.
      Thank you so much for reading and commenting! I’m so glad you found this post helpful!

      Here’s to our strength!


  4. Mariah says:

    This is amazing. I randomly happened upon this blog because I was searching for help not binging. I feel like I’ve just stumbled upon a gold mine. Thank you for writing this. Especially the “It’s okay. You’re okay.”
    Thank you!

    • Jace says:

      Hi Mariah,

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting. We’re so happy to hear that this post resonated with you!

      This is definitely one of my mantras that I use on a regular basis: It’s okay. You’re okay!

      Thank you again.

  5. Kelly says:

    Thank you for writing this.

  6. MC says:

    Thank you for your post. I’m 32 and I’ve been binging since I can remember. Every time I feel I’m finally over it I comes back stronger, making me feel powerless and helpless. This is the first time I write about it, last week I was so hopeful and then yesterday, for no reason, even when I did not want to Binge, I did. I’m still trying to analyze what happened without finding the answer, all I know is that this is a daily battle and every person has their own struggles. This is ours and we have to embrace it and keep looking for ways to deal with it. I wish you all the best.

    • Jace says:

      Hi MC,

      Thank you so much reading and for sharing with us today! I find your words “this is ours and we have to embrace it and keep looking for ways to deal with it” so powerful. It was so brave of you to write about this for the first time.

      I wish you all the best as well and I thank you again for commenting.


  7. Jayalakshmi says:

    Every night, I type out words in the hope of stumbling across something that gives me the strength to move forward. And that’s exactly what happened when I read this. It’s like you’ve been here with me, observing me and reading my mind. I wept reading this. I hope someday I can overcome this uncontrollable and powerless emotion and urge to eat.
    Thank you so much for expressing your thoughts. Thank you!

    • Jace says:

      Thank you so much for reading and sharing your experience while reading with us. I am so moved by your words and I thank YOU for typing them.


  8. Rebecca Anderson says:

    I don’t feel likeI binge because I am unhappy. It’s just that I suddenly “Want” to eat and eat and eat. I set a thing for myself that if I am going to go to the store to buy crap to eat then I at least need to walk. I seriously considered walking… here’s the thing. Today I am not even very hungry, My stomach actually feels overfull for some reason. I walked and exercised and was FINE. But my kids came home with left over DQ and I seriously almost swung out of control I needed to read this. But I don’t understand WHY I do this. I feel like at least if I was unhappy then I would have a REASON. I don’t and it makes me feel like such a loser. I can’t even say “Oh! It’s emotional.” Because I don’t think it is. I hate failing and it feels like until I know the reason I will always fail, but apparently I do not have a reason. 🙁

  9. Jace says:

    Hi Rebecca,
    Thank you so much for reading and taking a moment to share with us. I absolutely know that feeling of WANT – that craving – even when I’m in a good mood. Sometimes especially if I’m in a good mood! Giving yourself the time and space to decide if you really do want that certain food (in your case, by walking to get it) can be a great strategy. I’ve told myself many times “Hey. If you want that still in an hour or tomorrow then it looks like you really want it!” Seeing a trigger food, even when we’re in a good space, can be well – triggering. I absolutely have those moments, too. I’m good, I’m great, it’s a beautiful day! Oh crap. There’s _____ now in my space and in front of my face. I know how it feels not to understand the “why” behind the “want.” I mean…sometimes food just tastes good and so we want it! I’ve been working on “giving myself permission” (trying not to feel guilty) about eating anything I want in small portion sizes. Then I tell myself, “You don’t have to eat all of it right now. You can have this again. Heck, you can have it later or tomorrow!” This strategy isn’t for everyone but sometimes I find that letting go of the words “can’t” and “shouldn’t” – I can’t have this. I shouldn’t have that – can bring me a little peace. Making certain foods un-forbidden. Thank you again for sharing with us today. I truly believe that every moment we try to figure out more about ourselves by reading and sharing with each other here is a win NOT a failure. Thank you for being in this moment with me, Rebecca.


  10. Val says:

    I’m standing here in my kitchen and literally scratching my nails down my arms. It hits me like a truck. I want, NEED to eat, just eat and it wont stop until I feel utterly sick and that takes a lot. I went from pantry to fridge, pantry to fridge, over and over again just searching but not actually grabbing anything. I hate how this feels, I want it to stop. It feels like my body is always fighting me. PCOS already causes my body to crave sweets all the time and binge eating makes me want to eat ALL THE THINGS. I feel so gross…

    I’ve read this page 4 times over. I’m going to print out this card. I need it. =[

  11. Jace says:

    Hi Val,
    Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I know that feeling SO well. I feel the hairs on my arm standing up just reading this truth. “It feels like my body is always fighting me” rings so true to me personally. Thank you for being so brave and sharing your moment with us. I hope having the card with you reminds you that you are NOT alone and that this safe space is always here for you.


  12. Melissa D says:

    As I sit here in a different treatment facility for my compulsive overeating, your blog brought me such comfort in a moment of absolute despair. You are a blessing…truly you are. Many thanks for this post…it got me through.

  13. Jace says:

    Hi Melissa,

    Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I am smiling with tears in my eyes after reading your beautiful words. I am sending positive thoughts, light, and a big hug.


  14. Janny says:

    Hi there…
    I have been bingeing my whole life.. Now I understand why.
    I was sexually and mentally abused when I was young and food
    always numbed me out so I wouldn’t feel the pain…
    I am almost MEDICARE status, and still binge when I have any
    My whole identity was wrapped up in how I looked because I believed there was nothing on the inside..
    I’ve had a lot of therapy but this is a hard one to stop

  15. John says:

    Thank you for this. Been struggling my entire life with Binge Eating. It’s an addiction really and the words you wrote can help anyone with any addiction. “A feeling is a feeling is a feeling… it requires no action.” How true that is yet how quickly we forget to remember. So many times I’ve won the battle and seen the ‘feeling’ pass. One minute I feel like I can’t LIVE without a pint of Ben & Jerrys and if I wait it out the feeling passes and suddenly it’s like it was never there. And I think, “I’m so glad I waited till it passed” But sadly more often then I’d like… I just give in to the feeling and live to regret it. EVERY DAMN TIME. But not today. Thank you.

  16. Jace says:

    Thank you so much for reading this post and for sharing your words and experience with us. I know that feeling of “giving in” all too well. It’s a hard balance, trying to enjoy mindfully and in moderation when Binge Eating is a part of the puzzle. I try to remind myself that food is tasty, it’s okay to eat the things I love, I’m not “bad’ if I do, and something that helps is reminding myself that I CAN have more of that thing I love tomorrow. I can have a “scoop” or a serving today and another tomorrow. I don’t have to eat the whole thing today, this isn’t the last day it’s on the menu (hello diet mentality), I can taste this awesomeness again. Easier said than done (as are most things in life!) but I do find it helpful sometimes. Thank you again so much for sharing with us today. The more we open up and share, the more connected and less alone we can feel.

  17. Stephanie says:

    I just found this and after reading it about five times, I finally felt okay enough to let myself cry. Thank you for this. I needed it so badly.

  18. Shiri says:

    Hi Janny,
    Yes, it is hard to stop, especially when there’s a trauma history. Ongoing therapy is a very helpful part of continuing to make progress. Other things that help is a mindfulness practice, as well as a self-compassion practice. You might ask your therapist about these. We also have blogs and free resources such as meditations on self-compassion and mindfulness, so feel free to read them.
    Take care of yourself.

  19. Jace says:


    I’m so glad that you found this post when you needed it. Thank you so much for commenting and sharing with us.


  20. Kay says:

    I’ve suffered from binge eating for years. Lately I find myself finding ways of trying to stop. It feels so difficult and almost impossible and I can’t help feeling disheartened knowing I will need to keep this up indefinitely. I wonder if I have the staying power and strength to do so. I feel the fear that I don’t. It feels so much easier to give in to the feeling. I guess I feel comforted by food and my body wants that feeling of fullness which is probably uncomfortable to normal people. I do want to get better. I’m tired of living like this.

  21. Shiri Macri says:

    Hi Kay,
    Thanks so much for reaching out. Please know that there IS hope. Healing DOES happen. Let me offer some resources for you that may help:
    – mindful eating practices can really help by becoming more attuned to signals of hunger and fullness
    – along with mindful eating, increasing ways you cope with challenges/stressors in your life. This may mean working with a trained professional on developing a broad repertoire of coping/stress-management, self-care strategies.
    -you might consider reading the book “Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating” by Michelle May and Kari Anderson. It’s a great resource for making a change to binge eating behaviors using mindfulness based strategies.
    -lastly, if it’s possible for you to come to Green Mountain at Fox Run, we specialize in helping women with this. We’re one of the nation’s oldest non-diet wellness retreat for women, and the only retreat that specializes just in binge eating behaviors, just for women. We offer various ways of attending, so you might contact a program adviser to see if it might be an option for you.
    I hope this is a helpful start.
    Take care of yourself and again – thanks for reaching out. That’s a very important first step.

  22. Ann Scott says:

    Hi Have! I am glad to have found this blog of yours. About a month ago I was a happy healthy person. I was eating healthy food, staying hydrated and getting exercise. I had avoided binging for a good length of time and didn’t have the urge to. But then there was a fire directly below my apartment, and I felt compelled to move. There aren’t very many rentals available in my community, so I settled for a room at an inn. Rooms are available to rent by the month. I had to downsize and ended up throwing things away that I really didn’t want to part with. I had several other issues that were having a negative impact on my well-being. To make matters worse, I started binging again! I really thought I had conquered my desire to binge but obviously not. Now I am trying to escape this vicious cycle!!! So, I have been finding articles to help me through this. Your blog is very helpful and resonates with me. It is also helpful reading about other’s experiences. Thank you!

    • Lesley Wayler, MSW says:

      Hi Ann, urges to binge can arise for a variety of reasons, but it sounds like you’ve dealt with some serious stressors. So, it makes sense that you’d be turning to food. I’m so glad that our blog post and reading about other’s experiences has been helpful. If possible, I’d recommend finding support in your area whether it’s a qualified health provider, support group or even a close friend you can talk to. In addition to support, self-compassion is also so important. Check out resources from Kristin Neff and Chris Germer if you haven’t already. Thanks again for your kind words and take care of yourself! Lesley

  23. Michelle says:

    I am 58 and reading this while I just polished off two cream filled donuts and a pint of whole milk. I feel so immature and stupid! I have been overeating since I was a child and seriously binging since I was in my twenties. I’ve gotten control a few times but always knew the dormant monster could always re-surface. I don’t know anyone else who does this. What makes it worse is my weight is getting so out of control I don’t want to go out except to the store and buy binge food. Then I think, if I have to have an eating disorder why can’t it be Anorexia. I know this is flawed thinking. At this age I know that I never have been or never will be good enough. I am going to keep this handy and try again tomorrow knowing I am not alone.

    • Lesley Wayler, MSW says:

      Hi Michelle, your comment is so appreciated and really one of the first steps to finding some freedom from struggling around food. We often keep our behaviors around food a secret because they can feel so shameful. These struggles can feel daunting, especially if they’ve been lifelong. Feeling shame and embarrassment is often what keeps us in the dark and in the thought process of feeling like we can’t ever get out. If you don’t have good support already, seek it out! Perhaps it’s a qualified psychotherapist, support group, or family and friends who really understand what you’ve been going through. Opening up about your experience, your struggles can be so liberating. Wishing you the best on your journey! Lesley

  24. adelva says:

    beautiful words. thank you

  25. Latoya Jackson says:

    Thank you Jace, yes it’s 2020 and your topic on binge eating is still relevant! I’m started over again trying to refrain from binge eating. I was online looking for help that I could use right before a binge desire and I found your neat handy tool. I’m going to start on Sunday with working out and healthy eating. I have attempted in the past, but give in to binges. I can do good all day and sabotage my progress by binging that night. Then I get discouraging to continue my path in the right direction. However, I’m not going to stop. I going to continue trying. Thanks Jace with helping me with my journey.

  26. Ekram says:

    Hi .
    I am girl in my 20s strugling to stop binge eating
    I am overweight and I did try to lose weight
    That last 7 years of my life . I guess when I feel any
    Pressure from my daily life I choose food for comfort
    I don’t know from where I should start to recover from this
    I hate it and I feel ashemed from it .

    • Lesley Wayler, MSW says:

      Hi Ekram,

      The pressure to turn to food to cope and the shame of doing so is so understandable! In terms of recovery, knowing where to start can be just as frustrating. We recommend a couple things: one, what else do you have in your toolbox to turn to when you’re feeling the pressures from daily life? How are you practicing self-care on a daily basis? Second, having a professional to navigate these struggles with can be very beneficial. A Health at Every Size professional (therapist or dietitian) is trained to walk this difficult path with you and help you overcome challenges along the way. We so appreciate you reaching out and wish you the best on this life-long journey!

  27. Jacob says:

    Jesus. That was. Seriously useful. I wasn’t expecting that to help. I’d already got my food out, and was trying some last ditch convincing ‘just google why you shouldn’t binge before u do,’ but it wasn’t working. So I made a deal with myself – I’d read this whilst binging.

    I was planning to eat an entire carton of seaweed crackers with butter. Instead, I ate a quarter of a packet. That is a huge difference.

    The hand on the heart thing. God, it sounds and feels so stupid, and yet it instantly changed the game, made me feel way different.

    I don’t know what angel is looking out for me tonight, and who put me on the path to your blog, but whatever it was, thanks to it. But far more importantly, thank you so very much. I have never met you before tonight, but in this page, the work and effort you’ve put into your recovery, and incredible strength you have, are pretty bloody clear. Thank you for giving that strength to me tonight, when I couldn’t find it for myself.

    Thank you so much.

  28. Jace says:

    Hi Jacob,
    I am nearly speechless. I cannot thank you enough for sharing your experience here for the community to see. Your words are so powerful, and I am beyond grateful to those angels for bringing this post your way when you needed it. This comment is something I will hold dear. Sending you love and light.

  29. Mary Pavlovsky says:

    What is the point of HAES if you are just going to stay fat?

    • Lesley Wayler, MSW says:

      Great question, Mary. I guess I would ask you, what’s so bad about being fat? It’s a complicated and layered question to answer, but HAES is in place to help those that are tired of hating themselves because they live in a fat body. HAES exists to help shape society and move it away from a weight-focused, diet-focused culture to a more self-accepting one. HAES exists to combat weight stigma, the last acceptable form of prejudice in many societies! Thanks so much for your question! Lesley Wayler

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About the Author

Jacki Monaco

Jacki (or Jace) is a Green Mountain alum that shares experiences with binge eating disorder through "The Binge Eating Diaries” series. Follow Jacki as she shares the discoveries she’s made on her journey to health and happiness.

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