Weight Loss Expectations: Stop “Shoulding” Yourself


We ran this post last year at this time – about the time that women start beating themselves up for not sticking to their New Year’s resolutions. If that sounds like you, then today’s post by Darla can provide some helpful insights.

There is something about the New Year that invites the word “should” into our lives. 

“I should have de-cluttered my house last weekend” or “I should have been to the gym 5 times this week” or “I should weigh less by now.”

I was reading Stepping Out of the Should Trap” by Jo Holstein of Daily Good and I really liked many of her ideas. She says: “Inspirational idioms such as “March to the beat of your own drum” or “Forge your own path” were so alluring and seemingly simple, but I really struggled. Breaking free of the “should” trap included five big steps for me:”

1. understanding the trap
2. choosing to change
3. recognizing the “should” in my thoughts and emotions
4. releasing the “should”
5. looking inward to find my authentic self

I would contend that the more we “should” ourselves, the more rebellious we are likely to become. If I say to myself “I should go on a diet,” I immediately find myself driving to the store and buying 3 candy bars.

So instead of “shoulding” ourselves, how about operating from a place of desire, or want, or possibility?  The more we take the pressure off and let go of the “should” word, the more we can come from place of exploration and experimentation.

How can you decrease the “shoulds” in your mind?

Photo by xlordashx

5 responses to “Weight Loss Expectations: Stop “Shoulding” Yourself”

  1. Deborah says:

    I use ‘should’ ‘must’ and ‘ought’ to WAY too much… which means I spend much of my time wallowing in guilt!

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