Read This If You Can’t Stop Emotional Eating

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Have you ever wondered if you’re a binge eater, emotional eater or think you may be both? Have you googled “how to control my eating” only to find an overwhelming amount of articles on what you’re doing wrong?

The answer to these questions is not clear-cut, but one thing is for sure – it is NOT your fault.

Binge and emotional eating aren’t necessarily separate and distinct, but rather the same process on a continuum.

Emotional Eating is Okay

Yes, you read that right.

The truth is, most of us eat emotionally. We have times in our daily lives when we reach for that special something to eat and it gives us comfort. It helps us relax, de-stress and take the day’s woes away. That’s common, normal and okay.

Yes, really! It’s okay.

When our participants realize this, the shame-monster shrinks a little.

Why is Emotional Eating Okay?

Because it’s doing a job for us. Our bodies know that we digest better when we’re calm, so as soon as we start eating, the relaxation response is activated (aka parasympathetic response; aka “rest-and-digest” response). Breathing gets deeper, heart rate slows, muscles relax, etc. and we’re better off.

At least, for a little while. Here comes the catch so to speak.

Remember, this is emotional eating. It’s about soothing a difficult emotion, not about eating for hunger.

It’s one thing to come home after a trying day and call a friend to vent, listen to some peaceful music, take a hot bath, put on lavender lotion, and have a bowl of ice cream.

It’s another thing to come home after a trying day and finish off a quart of ice cream.

All of these examples reduce stress, but if we don’t have a lot of options (or don’t use a lot of options), then it’s all on food, and we overuse it.

So while it’s ok to eat and it does soothe us, the hard reality is that at some point, it doesn’t feel good or taste good anymore.

That’s why it’s important to pay attention to how else we’re coping with difficult emotions, as well as how much we’re eating, and how often we use eating as a coping strategy – that’s the catch.

Emotional Eating Continuum

If we aren’t paying attention and we continue eating, we’re actually creating a new stressor, which can look like shame or self-loathing. And now we have a whole new difficult emotion to cope with, and it starts the cycle over again.

Think of emotional eating as a continuum.

At one end is emotional eating (which is normal and ok).

As we lose touch with the “hows” discussed above,

  • how often
  • how much
  • how else

we move up the continuum into emotional overeating and eventually to binge eating and Binge Eating Disorder.

The DSM 5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, 5th edition), which is the guide providers use to make clinical diagnoses, provides a clear definition of binge eating disorder with specific criteria for diagnosis. For example, the main criteria include eating a large amount of food in a short period of time, having a lack of control over eating, as well as several other criteria that need to be met in order for a clinical diagnosis.

When women experience Green Mountain at Fox Run, we’ll often suggest that it may be worthwhile considering some further support for emotional overeating or binge eating, especially if they feel they are losing control of their “hows” and are moving up this continuum.

If you’re still left uncertain about where your eating process is, try taking this self-scoring quiz.

Feel free to contact our staff if you’d like more information about emotional eating, binge eating, available resources, or to inquire about our unique, specialized treatment.


7 responses to “Read This If You Can’t Stop Emotional Eating”

  1. Merri Ferrell says:

    I do this. My weight depresses me, I feel terrible (joint pain etc) but food is more accessible than other thing (moving would solve more if pain did not stop me). I have longed to come to Green Mountain but you are out of my budget.

    • Shiri Macri says:

      Hi Merri,
      I’m sorry this is a struggle for you. We do offer a scholarship here at Green Mountain, and our therapy services are reimbursable by insurance (depending on the plan). If you’d like to talk more about these options, please let me/us know if we can help. In the meantime, you might consider reading “Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat For Binge Eating” By Dr. Michelle May and Dr. Kari Anderson. It’s an excellent resource for this struggle.

  2. Martha says:

    I am so depressed and stressed and would love to get away from it ALL and come to Green Mountain to learn how to get in charge of myself. Please tell me about the scholarships you offer.

    • Shiri Macri says:

      Hi Martha,
      I’m sorry you’re struggling. A stay at Green Mountain can be a wonderful way to re-charge while also learning about some very important strategies towards personal growth. Here’s a link to information about our scholarships: /plan-your-stay/the-rose-caron-scholarship/
      Or you can call us and we’ll be happy to talk with you about it.
      Take care in the meantime and I hope we hear from you.
      Shiri

  3. Ann Morando says:

    Good morning, I am hoping to attend a program at your facilty soon and I like to read the newsletters and educate myself in the meantime. Regarding this article, I do agree with what you say and I’m definitely an emotional eater. The part that threw me off was the part that says “it’s not your fault”. I choose to put food into my mouth (healthy and unhealthy foods). Wouldn’t accountability for our own choices be part of the program? Thank you for your thoughts on this, Ann

    • Shiri Macri says:

      Hi Ann,
      Yes, our program would definitely focus on being aware of our choices and how they make us feel. The difference we try to create between accountability and awareness is the guilt factor. In other words, usually when a person is emotionally eating, it’s because of a stressor. Adding guilt to the mix, only adds stress, which can lead to increased/excessive emotional eating. Instead, awareness allows people to understand how they feel before, during and after, and also helps understand underlying needs behind the eating behavior. That way, people can try to meet their needs more directly than ‘just’ eating. So it’s not that there’s permission to over-eat/binge, it’s that there’s more understanding, which in turn is more conducive to change. I hope that helps. Feel free to call/email if you’d like to talk more about how our program may be helpful.
      Take care in the meantime,
      Shiri

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About the Author

Shiri Macri, MA, LCMHC

Since 2004, Shiri’s approach as a therapist for treating binge and emotional eating is holistic, focusing not only on the presented issue at hand but also considering overall health. Working in this way often includes mindfulness-based approaches. Now as a trained MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction) teacher, Shiri’s love of mindfulness and meditation practices are at the forefront of her blog writings and recordings. Shiri is the Clinical Director at the Women's Center for Binge & Emotional Eating, affiliated with Green Mountain at Fox Run.

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