In his blog A New Way To Lose Weight: Listen To It, Marc David at the Institute for Psychology of Eating makes a strong case that losing weight for the sake of simply losing weight is incredibly difficult. He says:
“Most people who have extra pounds attack their body fat as if it was some foreign and hostile invader. We honestly believe that this excess weight is “not me.” So, we do our best get rid of this unwanted yuk that seems to be ruining our ability to have a good time.”
The more we badger, blame and berate ourselves for weight gain and then focus on ways to lose weight, the more vulnerable we are to further weight gain because we haven’t looked at what the weight gain is trying to tell us.
Marc David suggests that…
“Trying to get rid of weight by ‘losing it’ is like trying to get rid of paying a bill by ripping it up and throwing it out. It seems like such a great idea. Just get rid of the bill. The problem is, though, when you throw out the bill, another one comes in the mail, and this time with a late fee. Throw that one away and the consequences grow steeper.”
We blame ourselves for making our bodies the way we don’t want them to be. Often, the blame coats us in the blackness of shame where nothing else exists other than” I am bad” and “My body is bad” and “I did this to myself.”
What if the question is “How has this weight helped me?” rather than “How can I get rid of this weight and the faster the better?”
Weight can help us protect our sexual selves by helping us to stay under the radar as women. Food can be a way of finally giving something to ourselves when we expend a ton of energy giving to others. Weight can be a way of making ourselves invisible so that we won’t be noticed. Weight can help us stay connected with our mothers and help us feel safe.