A Letter from My Thighs: Why Do You Hate Us So Much?


I look at the mirror at my thighs. The mini-me inside my head begins her assault; “I hate you, you are so big, why aren’t you thinner? And these pants look horrible!” The harsh criticism and judgment is all too familiar.

I stop, pause and take a breath. In this moment I ask this question; what have my thighs ever done to me to cause me to hate them so much? 

They hear my question and respond:

Dear Annie,

That is a good question, why do you hate us so? All we have ever done for you is support you, yet you continue to treat us poorly, call us fat, pinch us and degrade us. We don’t understand.

We have loved being strong and stable for you. As a matter of fact over the years we have:

  • Played on sports teams
  • Carried 4 babies to term
  • Climbed numerous trees and mountains
  • Jumped lots of waves at the beach
  • Ran, skipped and jumped across fields and parking lots
  • Helped carry your mom when she broke her hip
  • Shopped, cooked and cleaned for your family

We have loved helping you live your life.

We would appreciate it if you did not criticize us for what we look like. We always work hard for you and do our best. We want to be appreciated and accepted by you. Your respect is important to us. Can we please be friends?

We just wanted you to know, 

Your stable and grounded thighs

I am enlightened….

I have relied on this body to live my life. My thighs and my body that I’ve hated for so long, have done so much for me.

Does this sound familiar to you? Do you bash your body every chance you get? Join me in taking some steps to move from hating this body we were given to appreciating it.

It is time to begin a friendship with our bodies… I’ve taken the first step by listening to my thighs.

7 Steps to Becoming Friends With Our Bodies

  1. Write one thing that your body has done for you to begin to build this friendship.
  2. Build this into a BODY ACCOMPLISHMENT LIST. List ALL of the things your body has done for you. This can include things like hugging a friend, sharing a smile or shivering to keep you warm.
  3. Next write a list of what your body CAN do for you.
  4. Pause, take a breath and become aware of your own judgments of yourself, when these thoughts come into your brain, begin to find some kindness with your words.
  5. Be mindful of social comparisons.
  6. After reflecting on all of the things your body does and can do for you, write a letter to that body part that you dislike.
  7. Live in the body that you have today, don’t wait for the body you may have tomorrow!

Dear Thighs,

I cannot believe how horribly I have treated you all these years, after all you have done and continue to do for me. You have enabled me to experience some of my greatest memories… winning a soccer championship, climbing mountains, walking down the aisle at my wedding, and rocking my babies to sleep…

You have always grounded me, helped me up and stayed strong, and I have hated you merely because you didn’t look a certain way. I am so very sorry. I now realize how much I have come to rely and depend on you to live my life, and I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for always being there for me, so strong, sturdy, dependable and sustainable.

I appreciate you, and am looking forward to the years to come. 

With Gratitude,


One response to “A Letter from My Thighs: Why Do You Hate Us So Much?”

  1. Bill Fabrey says:

    A very refreshing essay–good writing from a perspective I hadn’t seen before. Our society needs more like this.

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About the Author

Anne Poirier, BS, CSCS, CIEC

Former Program Director at Green Mountain | Program Director at Shaping Perspectives - A Woman’s Way to Joy

By sharing experiences and lessons learned through her writing, Anne’s goal is to first, help women finally feel free enough to break away from their dieting chains and learn how to listen and honor their body’s internal cues. Second, to discover and experience more joy in moving their bodies and finally, understand the importance of taking time for themselves. Her philosophy of strengthening the connections among participants’ minds, hearts and bodies fits perfectly with Green Mountain’s philosophy of lasting change through comprehensive, integrative health programming. Anne is the Program Director at Shaping Perspectives - A Woman’s Way to Joy and former Program Director at Green Mountain at Fox Run.

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