Most recently, I’ve been working on sitting with the uncomfortable feelings of loss, the loss of a very dear friend.
You may have met her. Her name is Food.
The first time there was a rift in our relationship is when I stopped binge eating. I had to sit with very extreme feelings in order not to binge. I had to learn to take care of my self in a new way. That way was creating new neural pathways, or habits, so that I didn’t always turn to my friend, Food.
I also found other healthy friends such as Yoga, Journaling, & Sleep. Balance is important in friendships. You don’t want to be dependent upon just one person. You can become too entwined. It’s good to let others in as well, to give you perspective.
What I’m working on now with Food, however, is learning to stop at the point of satisfaction. I want to take care of my body. But filling it up with food it no longer needs isn’t working for me from a self-care standpoint or making me feel well. More importantly, it isn’t balanced.
Food and I can be friends, but we just can’t be codependent.
I’m learning to sit with the feelings of being sad that it is time to stop eating. Unlike different friends, such alcohol & drugs, I can’t live without food. It will always be part of my life. We may not be best friends, but we will still see each other in the kitchen, at book club, or even at the grocery store.
Our relationship with each other is evolving to a healthier place. When I grieve the loss of my friend, I can still have hope that I will see her again. Food isn’t like the grandma you see once a year. You can see her as many times in a day that you choose. You are in charge of what your relationship will be.
Some days you may see her more often than others. Friendship is like that.
What is your current friendship with Food like?
Jill C blogs about eating mindfully and living intuitively at Eating as A Path to Yoga.