Self-Bullying: Can I Get A Witness?


picture perfect womanCan I get a witness? One intervention that can help stop bullying is educating the witnesses, the people who observe the bullying, to speak up in situations in which they feel safe or get help if they don’t feel safe. The issue of bullying is so widespread, there are even educational campaigns to help witnesses take action.

So, what happens when you are self-bullying? Know that self bullying hurts you as much as bullying hurts a child in school.

In “Perfect” by Pink she sings:

 “You’re so mean when you talk/ to yourself/ change the voices in your head/ make them like you instead.”

This is self-bullying. So just like with actually bullying, the intervention for self bullying is to educate the witness. YOU.

This is the witness in your own head. Your witness part has perspective, it can look at the situation from a bird’s eye point of view. You might call this part of you your wise self.  This is the part of ourselves that we use with other people, that notices what hurts someone else. Your witness allows you to be mindful of what is happening in the “now.”

3 steps to creating a witness to decrease self-bullying

  1. Notice when you are self-bullying. Signs to look for include a knot in your stomach, not wanting to socialize, focusing on feeling fat. You have to notice when you are being mean to yourself before you can do anything about it.
  2. Use your witness voice: Say “Ok, here I go again self bullying. I know this absolutely doesn’t help me. The more I self bully the worse I will feel.”
  3. Listen to a song, such as Pink’s, or read a poem to interrupt the self-bullying to stop it in its tracks and shift your perspective.

Do you have a song that supports your witness and decreases your self-bullying?

One response to “Self-Bullying: Can I Get A Witness?”

  1. Deborah says:

    Love this post! I’m trying to focus on my self-talk, but after 40+years it’s hard to change some habits!


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

About the Author

Marsha Hudnall, MS, RDN, CD

If you’re looking for an embodiment of dedication disguised as obsession, look no further. Marsha is a registered dietitian who has spent the last four decades working to help women give up dieting rules and understand how to truly take care of themselves. Her mission in life is to help women learn to enjoy eating and living well, without worries about their weight. She encourages women to embrace their love of food, which you might call being a foodie. If so, it’s appropriate because being a foodie means you pay attention when you eat. That’s a recipe made in heaven for eating well. Marsha is the President and Co-Owner of Green Mountain at Fox Run.

View Author Page