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Green Mountain at Fox Run is pleased to bring
you this article written by Annette Colby, PhD, RD, LD, a
nutrition counselor located in Dallas, Texas. If you're interested
in subscribing to her free weekly email newsletter, go to
the web at www.power-nutrition.com.
Dr. Colby has been in practice for over 11 years, specializing
in working with people with disordered eating, chronic dieting,
compulsive overeating, binge eating and weight and body issues.
She has dedicated her professional life to empowering individuals
with new vision and innovative healing strategies.
Emotions and Food
How did we get so afraid of feelings? After all, emotions,
including the so-called negative ones, are a natural part
of being human. Everyone experiences them - each and every
day. Yet some people cope with difficult emotions by repressing
them. It becomes an automatic habit to sweep unpleasant feelings
under the rug and to stop consciously noticing what the body
is feeling.
Emotional eating can in part be the consequence of not allowing
feelings to flow naturally. Emotions themselves are felt in
the physical body. Notice how emotions can sometimes be felt
as a knot in the stomach, a gripping feeling in the chest
area, a tightening of the shoulders and neck, or perhaps a
pounding tension in the head. If an emotion becomes blocked
and is unable to flow freely, it gets trapped in the body.
A natural response is to seek some way to make ourselves feel
better.
Eating, or starving, can serve as a temporary antidote to
the feelings of sadness, depression, hurt, anger, self-hate,
guilt, stress, boredom, and so on. For some, the act of not
eating all day serves to numb awareness of the physical body
and emotions. Limiting food intake can create a false sense
of being 'in control' and can lead to a feeling of calmness.
For others over-eating, binge eating, or bulimia work more
effectively to create a momentary solution. These behaviors
can briefly calm, distract, and sometimes divert attention
away from the original emotion. Food itself, especially carbohydrates,
can release powerful chemical and hormonal responses that
create a sense of temporary well-being. Any of these eating
patterns can work by reducing tension and anxiety, suppressing
feelings you can't stand, removing your attention from an
uncomfortable situation, and so on.
Emotional Hostage
Holding down emotions is usually an attempt to protect ourselves
from feeling pain. It is coping strategy designed to keep
us safe. Somewhere along the line an unconscious decision
was made to avoid conflict, deny our feelings, and be strong
by handling things ourselves. Eventually, it became such a
way of life, that there is now fear associated with letting
feelings flow.
Even though suppressing emotions was once an effective coping
mechanism, it comes with a price. Unfelt and unexpressed emotions
do not simply go away. It's actually the resistance to feeling
emotions when they arise that causes difficulty. As M. Kathleen
Casey once wrote, "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
Pain is something we all experience. Suffering is caused when
we attempt to suppress the discomfort we feel.
Feeling isn't fatal. But it's tough to convince emotional
eaters of that. One of the greatest obstacles to working with
emotions is fear of the unknown and fear of the unexpected.
When beginning to work with emotions it is natural to feel
afraid. Much effort was formerly spent treating emotions as
if they were deadly. As a result, all that emotion has been
locked up and kept under control. It's scary to think what
would happen if all those suppressed emotions were release.
The process of opening up to hidden feelings often takes
time. At first, it may feel like a flood of emotion, but as
the pressure of unexpressed emotions releases, you will feel
lighter. You will not cry forever. The anger will not keep
on exploding forever. The pain will not go on forever. Learning
to gently and compassionately be with what you are feeling
allows healing to occur.
Emotional Exploration Exercise
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Each day for a week write down the
emotions you experience. You may choose to write them
down as you go through your day, last thing at night,
or first thing in the morning. Whatever suits you.
Don't justify or excuse or give reasons. Simply list
them to get some idea of how emotional your life actually
is. |
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The next week, repeat the exercise
above (writing down your emotions), but this time
consider how you dealt with each of those emotions.
How does food (or the lack of food) seem to help?
If the end result wasn't so good for you, consider
other ways that may be appropriate expressions of
those emotions. |
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Emotional Rescue
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The first question to ask yourself
is "What am I feeling?" Identifying emotions
can be difficult if you habitually minimize or deny
what you feel. If you're not used to acknowledging
your feelings, the answer might well be, "I don't
know." |
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There is always a cause for our feelings.
The problem may be that we've hidden our emotions
from ourselves and others for so long. You might try
locating the specific area in your body where the
emotion is coming from. Check your head, shoulder,
throat, chest, heart, or stomach. Notice the areas
that are and are not feeling the emotion. |
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Try asking yourself, "What feelings
am I not expressing?" If that still draws a blank,
then ask yourself, "If I knew what I was feeling,
what would it be?" Feelings are by their very
nature unclear, vague, and foggy. Allow yourself to
be with what is still unknown. A starting place might
be to state, "I feel an uncomfortable feeling
in my (example) stomach area." |
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Decide which general category the
'uncomfortable' feeling falls into. Is it sad, angry,
or fearful? Once you have the category, refine the
description until you find the emotion or feeling
that most closely resonates with the feeling in your
body. |
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Having uncovered the emotions that
had formerly been stored or repressed, take a look
at them. No need to analyze and criticize. No need
to judge yourself, blame yourself, or tell yourself
that you "shouldn't" feel that way. Only
look at them objectively, and tell them (the feelings)
and tell yourself that it is okay to feel this way. |
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Remind yourself that what you resist,
persists. Realize that no matter how severe the emotions
seem, feeling them is not dangerous. Identify the
feeling with your head, acknowledge them with your
heart, and let them flow through you. |
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Let yourself feel your anger, your
sadness, your fear. Really feel it! Go ahead and cry,
or beat your pillow ... whatever you feel you need
(just don't hurt anyone). Feel them. Experience them.
Feeling them will allow space inside to feel other,
more positive, experiences. |
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When you focus on a feeling, it may
become larger and stronger. This can be scary and
we may think we can't stand it. If you begin to get
overwhelmed by the emotion, redirect your awareness.
Notice again the areas of your body that don't feel
the emotion. Find some distance from the place in
your body where the emotion dwells. |
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Remember to make the distinction that
you are not your emotions. You are a person having
an experience. If you are currently experiencing hopelessness,
it is not the same as you - you are not hopelessness.
You are a person experiencing hopelessness because
of the thoughts you are thinking. Ask yourself, "What
would I have to be thinking in order to create a feeling
of hopelessness?" |
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If you feel like you will be bowled
over with a flood of emotions, find someone to work
with. You do not need to cope with painful feelings
alone. A supportive friend, trained counselor, or
nutrition therapist can offer support, guidance, and
a safe environment. |
Read more about emotional eating and weight: Stopping Emotional Eating and Stopping Emotional Eating: Getting the Help We Need.
For women interested in a healthy weight loss program for lasting success, please visit our healthy weight loss spa website.
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