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We've all been there before. We're going strong
in our resolve to take care of ourselves, including eating
what we want to prevent overeating out of feelings of deprivation.
But then some ‘well-meaning' friend or family
member comments, “Are you sure you should eat that?”
Immediately, all our feelings of self-doubt come rushing back
to make us question whether we really can trust our bodies
to guide us in what we need.
 When
we're at a supportive healthy
weight program retreat like Green Mountain at Fox Run,
feeling confident is much easier because everyone around us
faces similar issues and understands the need to help each
other believe in ourselves. But at home, such self confidence
can be a foreign idea. In a society that's almost governed
by diet books and the like, it seems easier to follow what
someone else recommends as weight
loss information rather than take the time to
turn inwards and explore what we need to achieve and maintain
a healthy weight.
Now is the time, however, to start educating those around
us about a more effective type of weight loss information:
personal support in reaching our health and healthy weight
goals.
Get support by asking family and friends
to:
- acknowledge our progress, instead of focusing on whether
we've achieved, or when we'll achieve, our goals
- allow us to make our own choices, even if they go against
what they
think is best for us
- avoid discussion of our weight or health with others,
especially at
social gatherings; and
- help us be patient and realistic in making changes.
More than Weight Loss Information
But what about those who refuse to do any or all of the above?
Because it's often fruitless to try to change someone
who doesn't want to see another side of things, it can
be helpful to consider how we can change our choices and reactions
to make things work better for us. Following are ideas
for changing the way we think about
who we choose to spend time with, and how we choose to interact
with them.
- Gather around our families of choice.
“We can't choose our families of birth, but
we can choose to spend times that matter with people who
matter,” says Mimi Francis, MSN, behavioral health
therapist at Green Mountain at Fox Run. Change traditions
if need be. Rather than the usual holiday dinner with the
extended family, take the kids on a long weekend to a dude
ranch, or somewhere else we can have lots of fun without
revisiting old hurts. Changing a tradition is hard the first
time, but thereafter we've set the precedent, and
we won't be expected to show up in the future.
- Prepare to have a good time. Before
social gatherings such as family holiday parties, we often
revert to all-or-nothing thinking. We reason “It's
either go and put up with the usual nonsense, or don't
go at all.” But what else could we do? How about setting
ourselves up for better coping by spending valuable time
nurturing ourselves -- a relaxing afternoon being pampered
at a day spa before the big holiday bash, visualizing a
successful event from our perspective? Can we choose a state
of mind to help prevent us from being triggered by what
someone says or does? For example, we might decide to truly
believe “this is their stuff” and resolve not
take their behaviors personally. We might also have a number
of prepared responses for unsupportive comments we can almost
predict we'll hear.
- Put limits and boundaries around interactions
with those we know are incapable of support. Many
of us have family members who fit this description, but
on special occasions like holidays, birthdays, etc., we
can't not be there. So how can we manage what we know
is a potential landmine for our self-esteem? “We could
choose to visit but leave before mealtimes, thereby avoiding
problematic attitudes about our eating,” says Francis.
“Or we might be even more effective in defusing the
situation by refusing to respond to those attitudes if they
do surface. Remember, fires go out when you don't
feed them. There's a saying in Tai Chi that if you
step out of the way of aggression, it goes past you and
even throws the aggressor off balance.”
- Be mindful that substances we use to cope can
backfire. In families with alcoholic tendencies,
alcoholic beverages, often used to add ‘life'
to a party, can lead to incoherent conversations that can
get ugly. Food works to calm us down, but then the angst
about eating can begin, complicating things with feelings
of doubt and worry. Put together a self-help toolbox of
ways to cope without using such substances; try breathing,
going outside for a break, picking your battles, even laughing!
Remember, attitude is everything. And who knows – you
may become a role model for a new type of weight loss information
– how to ensure special occasions don't set us
up for emotional eating but stay happy like they're
supposed to be!
For 37 years, Green Mountain at Fox Run has
developed and refined a life-changing program exclusively
for women seeking permanent strategies for healthy weight
loss and health. More than just another weight
loss retreat and spa, Green Mountain combines proven
science with what works in the real world, to offer an innovative
non-diet lifestyle program. Our core weight
loss program offers an integrated curriculum of practical,
liveable techniques that helps women take charge of their
eating, their bodies and their health. Unlike health
spas or adult
weight loss camps, our approach is not focused on just
losing weight but on how to keep it off for a lifetime.
Our participants' long-term weight
loss success is among the highest of any program, as
documented in peer-reviewed scientific literature. Learn more about our women's weight loss program
©2007
Green Mountain at Fox Run, Ludlow, Vermont. This information
is the property of Green Mountain at Fox Run. Permission
to use single copies for personal, noncommercial use is
authorized. For all other purposes, please see details.
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