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I hate my body….I feel defeated…Why try to
take care of myself?...I eat for comfort…I eat too much
and don’t have the energy to go for a walk.
Who has uttered these words before, then gotten caught up
in the behaviors they spawn? Maybe the better question is
who hasn’t? When we look at it this way, it’s
easy to see how this type of thinking can form a major barrier
to success at reaching our health and healthy weight loss
goals. When a person who struggles with eating and weight
feels bad about herself, she often turns to food as a source
of comfort, or even punishment. She certainly doesn’t
feel like taking a refreshing walk around the block or engaging
in some other form of fun physical activity.
The Downward Cycle of Hating Our Bodies
(Negative Body Image)
“My friends don’t even ask me to go out with
them anymore. They know I won’t go. I know when we get
to the club, I’ll end up sitting by myself. No one will
ask me to dance.” As she told us this, Sandy visibly
sank further into depression. It was easy to see the truth
in her story. Sandy’s demeanor reflected her certainty
she would not have fun while out with friends. It was a face
she surely shows while at a club. Who would want to ask someone
so clearly unhappy to dance?
Whether out with friends or at home alone, how we think about
ourselves and our body image has a decisive impact on our
behaviors. For example,
- When we’re negative about ourselves, we’re
less likely to feed ourselves well.
- We rarely have the motivation or energy to get off the
couch (or out of bed) and move to make our bodies feel better.
- If we’re emotional eaters, negative thinking about
ourselves can be a trigger to eat when we’re not hungry,
or even binge.
- Bingeing and isolating ourselves can represent forms of
self-punishment that make us feel even more discouraged
and depressed.
Stop & Think to Improve Body Image
Perhaps the most surprising thing about this type of negative
thinking is that we often don’t know when we’re
engaging in it. Many times, we’ve developed the habit
of thinking about a certain subject (our bodies) in a certain
way (negatively). And it’s often not just one thought
but several. “Thoughts that fire together wire together,”
say Teri Hirss, health psychology therapist at Green Mountain
at Fox Run. “We tend to develop a number of thoughts
that have to do with one issue. When we think one, our minds
invariably go to the others, too.” Awareness is the
first step in stopping that automatic thought process.
How do we become aware? Practice the attitudes of mindfulness
(see sidebar). “The attitudes of mindfulness are so
powerful because they allow us to see what we’re thinking
and give us the tools to get rid of the judgment that produces
a negative body image and makes us feel bad about ourselves,”
says Hirss.
The simple act of breathing can also help us tune in to the
present moment, to notice what we are thinking and make the
choice to let go of negative thoughts. Try this technique
to get into the moment.
- Stop what you are doing.
- Take a deep breath (or several).
- Tune into your body.
- How is it feeling?
- What is causing that feeling? What were you thinking
that caused you to feel that way?
If I Think & Act Like a Healthy Person, I Will
Become One
After we become aware, it’s time to make a choice.
How do we deal with negative thoughts and the difficult feelings
that result – by doing something that helps manage them,
or doing something that makes us feel worse? We may discover
that our habit is to respond negatively. But again, by stopping
to think, we can also discover we have choices to respond
differently.
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“An improved body image can help us feel better
about ourselves, independent of weight loss. As
we feel better about ourselves, we can feel more
motivated to create change for health and healthy
weights.” |
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If we choose to respond with actions that make us feel better,
we begin an upward cycle that moves our bodies towards health
and well-being. Our thoughts take on a more positive tone…our
feelings about ourselves become more positive…it’s
easier to act more positively. Keep that up for a while, and
we find we’ve created a whole new habit – one
of taking care of ourselves, feeding ourselves well, moving
our bodies regularly and generally doing what’s needed
to feel and be well. We also find we’ve established
a whole new way of thinking about ourselves that keeps us
acting in our own best interests. Over time, we are that healthy
person. It’s no longer an act but reality.
I’m doing the best I can…I feel hopeful…I
keep working towards my goal.
Even though I may not be in the shape I want to be
in right now, I’ve got a lot to contribute…I
feel optimistic…I do the things I want to do.
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