Green Mountain at Fox Run » Blog http://www.fitwoman.com Women's Weight Loss Spa Retreat for Healthy Living Wed, 22 Oct 2014 13:00:35 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.9.2 The Binge Eating Diaries: It’s Not All About Me http://www.fitwoman.com/blog/2014/10/22/binge-eating-diaries/ http://www.fitwoman.com/blog/2014/10/22/binge-eating-diaries/#comments Wed, 22 Oct 2014 13:00:35 +0000 http://www.fitwoman.com/?p=28713 The Binge Eating Diaries are a regular column written by Jacki Monaco, who came to Green Mountain several years ago struggling with binge eating. We hope that sharing her insights and experiences as she overcomes binge eating will help you. People who don’t know me very well probably wouldn’t guess the truth. I’m a good listener and I pour sparkling […] Read more »

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The Binge Eating Diaries are a regular column written by Jacki Monaco, who came to Green Mountain several years ago struggling with binge eating. We hope that sharing her insights and experiences as she overcomes binge eating will help you.

People who don’t know me very well probably wouldn’t guess the truth.

I’m a good listener and I pour sparkling advice over crappy situations. Then, I redeliver them to friends, acquaintances, and coworkers on a spit-shined sterling tray. For a short period of time, I can be a pretty darn good confidant.

binge eating diaries - not all about meBut I have a confession to make…

And the people who know me well… know this all too well.  I’m self-absorbed to the nth degree. Admittedly and regrettably… it’s true.

After a small spell of focusing my attention on others, my true colors begin to show. And even though it shouldn’t be – it ends up being all about me.

Let me explain…

“Opposite Conceited”

I’ve been told I’m “opposite conceited” – always talking about myself… but never in a good way.

I’m not egocentric and I don’t talk often about my positive qualities. Oh no… I’m the girl who constantly takes digs at herself:


“I’ve gained weight. I ate too much. I look ugly today. My teeth aren’t perfect. My nose is too big. In fact, my everything is too big.”

My day-to-day life revolves around a plethora of problems – both real and fictional. (At least 50% are ones that I make up in my own head.) And together, my personal issues take up most of my headspace…Which means that sometimes it just doesn’t feel like there’s much room for anyone else’s problems… or anyone else’s feelings.

I never mean to redirect every moment toward my insecurities around food and my body image. But the honest truth is that I do – far too often.

I may have some demons and I know that mine are no more and no less important anyone else’s… but that doesn’t stop me from making it all about me. All the time.

My Emotional Responses And Reactions

And it’s not just that I talk about myself a lot – I react – out loud about everything that’s going on “upstairs” and everything I think I see reflecting back in the mirror.

But sometimes I forget how powerfully my emotional responses and reactions can hurt the people closest to me.

Read This Related Article:
Get to Know Your Whole Self
And one night, as my brain was overheating like a broken microwave, my thoughts spiraled and my words came slinging out sharp as butcher knives… as has happened time and time… and time before.

That night, because of my insecurities and my inability to filter my feelings from my reactions – I almost lost someone very close to me.

My anxiety made a target of a person I love.

And my aim was spot on – I unintentionally hit him right in the heart… for the hundredth time.

The day after my emotional fit about some “poor food choices” and my even poorer self image – he finally started to say goodbye…

And I finally started to get it.

This was NOT the first time my reactions about my own thoughts, feelings, and issues threatened our bond.

The terrifying truth that I could lose this person triggered something within me.

But it happened just in time. He gave me another shot. And that time, I finally got it.

It is my prerogative to think as many thoughts and feel as many feelings as I want – but I cannot spend another moment taking them out on anyone else.

For The First Time in My Life…

I’ve been able to continue working on my relationship with food and with my body without letting it overshadow or ruin my relationship with others.

For years, food felt like one of the only real relationships that I had. But in reality, it wasn’t true then – and it’s even less true now.

The vast majority of the people in my life love me. They think I’m beautiful and talented and they tell me so.

Read This Related Article:
Your Pathway to Overcoming Binge Eating
But hearing these things and believing them (even a little) are two completely different things.

I beat myself up and they talk me down – but they’re as exhausted from spending energy talking me off the ledge as I am contemplating the jump.

I’ve spent a lifetime so focused on “fixing” myself that it’s easy to forget that there is more to life than my jean size, my weight, eating an extra carb now and again, and constantly fighting in the “battle of the binge.”

But as hard as it is to divide my time and my emotions – it’s up to me (and only me) to make it happen.

I’m important, yes. But…

It’s Not All About Me

Slowly, I’ve been able to integrate an eating pattern back into my day. (As I mentioned in my last blog about restricting, it’s been a challenge to find the right balance, but I’m working on eating when it feels right for my body.)

Daily stress is still overwhelming at times, but I remind myself that if I fail to nourish my body in a healthy way – I’m jeopardizing my mental health.

And if my ducks aren’t in a row – how can I manage my relationships with and reactions to others?

It’s clear to me now… I don’t just want to be in control of my eating – I want to be in control of my life.

And I sure as hell don’t want a “scary day with food” for ME to turn into a “scary day with Jacki” for those I love.

Separating Food Anxiety From Behaviors And Reactions

So I’ve been working overtime, teaching myself how to separate my anxious thoughts about food from my actual eating behaviors AND from my reactions to others.

It takes a lot of processing and energy, but I find that I’m less likely to under eat, overeat, or binge if I feel in control of my reactions.

And the more in control I feel – the less my anxiety rules my relationships… with food and with others. Taking out my anxiety about food on any of my other relationships can only do one thing – hurt these precious ties that I’ve spent so long sewing together.

Everything is connected. But in my life, there’s one common factor that change everything. So, with the risk of sounding self-absorbed one last time – I know that that one factor… is ME.

Thank you for being here with me today.

Has your relationship with food and your body affected your other relationships? Please feel safe and welcome to comment below.

Until next time,

Jace


Learn About Overcoming Binge Eating

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Thanksgiving in Vermont http://www.fitwoman.com/blog/2014/10/21/thanksgiving-vermont/ http://www.fitwoman.com/blog/2014/10/21/thanksgiving-vermont/#comments Tue, 21 Oct 2014 13:00:17 +0000 http://www.fitwoman.com/?p=28710 Does Thanksgiving stress you out? The thought of all the food…all that shopping, cooking, then struggling to enjoy it without worry? Thanksgiving Getaways Well, you’re in luck. We’ve planned special 4- and 7-Day Thanksgiving Getaways just for you! We love Thanksgiving at Green Mountain. Each year, we host a traditional Thanksgiving meal as part of our acclaimed non-diet healthy weight […] Read more »

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Thanksgiving Getaway in VermontDoes Thanksgiving stress you out? The thought of all the food…all that shopping, cooking, then struggling to enjoy it without worry?

Thanksgiving Getaways

Well, you’re in luck. We’ve planned special 4- and 7-Day Thanksgiving Getaways just for you!

We love Thanksgiving at Green Mountain. Each year, we host a traditional Thanksgiving meal as part of our acclaimed non-diet healthy weight program. In our supportive environment , our participants savor the wonderful food as well as the company of like-minded women who understand the struggle with food and eating.

When joining us at Thanksgiving, you can E.A.T.:

Escape to the calming serenity and beauty of Vermont this season. Take time to catch your breath, refresh and renew with regular physical activity before the busyness of the holidays.

Absorb the teachings of a pioneering non-diet mindful eating program and the support of like-minded women who can help you put in place a self-care strategy to serve you well through the holidays and beyond.

Taste the deliciousness of the traditional Thanksgiving foods you love, eaten in a way that makes you feel well – turkey, stuffing, gravy, potatoes, vegetables, cranberry sauce and, yes, pumpkin pie. And you won’t have to lift a finger! Just a fork, and maybe a knife and spoon.

Black Friday Shopping 2014

Plus, this year we’re featuring Black Friday shopping so you can enjoy the unique shopping opportunities of Vermont. If you don’t want to shop, we’ll have a full day of programming also.

So join us to immerse yourself in the country’s only approach to health and fitness tailored for women that’s FUN, liberating and doable!

If you have questions, give us a call at 800.448.8106. Or email us at info@fitwoman.com.


Learn About Our Thanksgiving Getaways >>

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Is Fast or Slow Weight Loss Better? http://www.fitwoman.com/blog/2014/10/17/fast-slow-weight-loss-better/ http://www.fitwoman.com/blog/2014/10/17/fast-slow-weight-loss-better/#comments Fri, 17 Oct 2014 18:48:36 +0000 http://www.fitwoman.com/?p=28716 If you go by the way the most recent study looking at this question is being discussed, you’d think hands down that quick weight loss is the way to go. Study: Fast vs Gradual Weight Loss In Phase 1, ‘Fast’ Group Lost More Weight The study divided 200 participants into two groups: fast weight loss and gradual weight loss. It found in Phase […] Read more »

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If you go by the way the most recent study looking at this question is being discussed, you’d think hands down that quick weight loss is the way to go.

Study: Fast vs Gradual Weight Loss

fast or slow weight lossIn Phase 1, ‘Fast’ Group Lost More Weight

The study divided 200 participants into two groups: fast weight loss and gradual weight loss. It found in Phase 1 of the study that more in the fast weight loss group lost 12.5% of their body weight in the allotted time (81% vs 50%).

But hold on a minute…

In Phase 2, Both Groups Regained All The Lost Weight

Yet….read the headline in Forbes

“Another Diet Myth Exploded:
Gradual Weight Loss No Better Than Rapid Weight Loss”.

Wouldn’t you think it would be more accurate to say:

“Another Diet Myth Exploded: Diets REALLY Don’t Work!”?

Short-Term Results May Lead To Long-Term Health Consequences

I don’t have access to the complete study, but the quotes in the Forbes post disturb me:


“They cite a number of potential short-term advantages of very low calorie diets and note that these diets are now well formulated and provide adequate protein and essential micronutrients. They are “safe if used under expert supervision.” 

Short-term advantages? I would love to know what those are if people just end up regaining weight they work so hard to lose. And the yo-yo diet cycle is associated with chronic inflammation, NOT a good thing for our health.


“...our results show that achieving a weight loss target of 12.5% is more likely, and drop-out is lower, if losing weight is done quickly.”

Yeah, but if they just go on to gain it all back, no matter whether you lose it slowly or quickly, you end up in the same place.

For Long-Term Weight Management, Focus On Health

I have a hard time with the logic here. But in this day where people walk around with weight bias blinders on, and think that weight loss at any cost is worth it, I’m not surprised.

That’s not to say that weight loss is impossible. It’s the result of intentionally trying to lose weight that this study describes.

When it occurs as a side effect — weight loss that happens because it’s right for your body as it gets healthy through living well and not dieting, obsessing about food or your body, or resolving one of the other many factors that may negatively affect our health — then it’s more likely to stay gone.

I’m going for a walk now. Reading this study leaves me in need of some serious stress management.


Learn About Our Non-Diet Program For Healthy Weight Management

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Wow! You’ve Lost Weight! http://www.fitwoman.com/blog/2014/10/16/wow-youve-lost-weight/ http://www.fitwoman.com/blog/2014/10/16/wow-youve-lost-weight/#comments Thu, 16 Oct 2014 13:00:02 +0000 http://www.fitwoman.com/?p=28509 “Wow!  You’ve lost weight!”  I was sitting at the Ford agency waiting for a repair on my car.  A salesman walking by recognized one of his customers, stepped into the waiting room and blurted out the observation. Have You Ever Commented On Someone’s Weight Loss? Before my stay at Green Mountain, I would have quickly figured out a way to tactfully ask […] Read more »

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“Wow!  You’ve lost weight!”  I was sitting at the Ford agency waiting for a repair on my car.  A salesman walking by recognized one of his customers, stepped into the waiting room and blurted out the observation.

Have You Ever Commented On Someone’s Weight Loss?

Before my stay at Green Mountain, I would have quickly figured out a way to tactfully ask how she did it, how she found the Holy Grail that I’ve been searching for my whole life.

Instead, I marveled at the intimate nature of the question between two acquaintances, shocked that the comment was his “lead’ instead of a more inappropriate greeting.  “Hey, how’ve you been” would have been just fine.

“I’ve been sick” was the reply.  Aha!  Vindicated!

I watched the salesman backpedal, stammer and beat a quick retreat.  Serves him right.  But, let’s face it, just a few short weeks ago I would have made the same observation and pleaded for the miracle diet, the one I haven’t been on yet.  Is that even possible?  I don’t think so, I’ve tried them all.

Weight Loss Industry Makes Billions Off Diet Failures

setbacks are only challenges in disguiseThe annual global revenue of the weight-loss industry, including diet books, diet drugs and weight-loss surgeries, has been estimated to be in the $60 billion range.

Marsha mentioned that figure during a class I recently took at Green Mountain and I got to thinking, gee, how’d it get so big?  I mean, if they worked, the industry wouldn’t have grown so large, right?

If even one of those diets or fads worked, wouldn’t it kind of put the industry out of business?  Makes you think.

How sad that my fellow service customer had experienced a substantial weight loss through sickness. Had she lost it through dieting, though, she would have only gained it back.  I should know, I’ve lost the same 30 pounds no less than three times in my adult life only to regain it.    I’m hoping, however, that the education and understanding I absorbed at Green Mountain will keep me from doing the weight roller coaster and lead me to a life of consistent health and weight stability.

It’s week two of my journey and I’ve hit a few snags.

The weekend was tough. I ate healthily and mindfully all week and felt really good about my efforts.  After several glasses of wine with dinner Saturday night, I went home, waited until my husband went to bed and devoured half a bag of potato chips.

Not the best choice for my new outlook, I know.  I closed the bag, turned it upside down once so the remaining chips would kind of fan out making the bag look fuller, placed it back in the cabinet in the exact place and went to bed.

Learning From My Lapse And Letting It “Be”

When I woke up, there it was, that guilty feeling.  Negative self-talk was close behind. I decided to do something I’ve never done before – I told my husband what I had done.

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Stopping Negative Self Talk, Fat Talk
Thankfully, his response was ”Okay, that’s over.  Today is a new day.  Step right back into the center of your new path and look forward, not back”.

Thank you, John.  Thank you, Green Mountain.  Thank you, Self, for letting the lapse “be” and moving forward, instead of feeling like a failure.

Instead of identifying a failure, I identified a trigger (alcohol) and support (my husband).

Not a bad week, huh?


Learn About Overcoming Binge Eating

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