Moving Forward Means Leaving Fat Talk Behind

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template1It Can Be Lonely Leaving the Diet Club

Have you ever noticed that women bond around hating their bodies, losing weight, fat talk, and overeating (without even realizing that the fat talk is probably contributing to emotional overeating)?

It’s a mad mad world out there and not always friendly for those of us who support a non-diet way of living.

In spite of virtually every woman out there knowing deep in her heart that diets have never provided her with any long-term sustainable solution, most just keep going back to the same familiar (and unsuccessful) patterns of dealing with emotional eating or binges.

Read Related Article How I Recommitted to My Body.

And if you hang around any group of women for any length of time, there is a pretty good chance that the talk will eventually turn to wanting to change their bodies.

And in my experience, if you have become somebody who no longer believes in diets and deprivation and crazy ways of trying to force your body into things that make it feel badly, you are NOT part of the group. Sad, but true.

Fitting In as a Non-Dieter

If you want to fit in, you may say something about which part of your body you’re unhappy with and what you’re in the process of or planning to do about it (as in new diet, diet book, diet guru…etc.)

Because just like many men will talk about sports or politics to make connections (as will women), with women the talk often veers toward diets. In spite of all of the evidence that they aren’t working all that well for anyone, or with any permanence… misery does seem to love company.

It Takes a Lot of Courage to Resist Going Back to the Diet Club

It takes some guts and some real knowing in your heart, at a deep level, that this has never worked for you and that you just can’t be part of this conversation anymore, can’t get your social needs met in this particular way anymore. That you won’t pretend otherwise, just to be part of the mainstream.

It can be lonely leaving the diet wars behind.

Being different, stepping out of the mainstream, especially in this billions and billions of dollars diet-industry is hard. But your ability to move forward depends on it… for real.

Last week I wrote about finding ways to shift your identity out of the old labels and ways of thinking of yourself primarily as “eating disordered,” “out of control,” or “addicted to food” – or the many other ways we feel so attached to the struggles around food and our bodies that we start to define ourselves in these ways.

One of the first ways to break free is to quit the club.

Choose to Walk Away from the Diet Conversation

Choose to walk away from the conversations that keep you tethered there. Don’t participate in the body-bashing talk that so often occurs when women come together. Find something wonderful to focus on and lead the conversation into new realms.

We can be pioneers and trailblazers. And it will feel so much better than the alternative.

I want that for you – and for me.

Take Our Diet Mentality Quiz >>

Have you already quit “the club?” Or do you need some ways to step out of these conversations? Talk to me in the comments section below, or even schedule a personalized consultation via phone or Skype to break free in ways that will lighten everything up right now.

One Response (Add Yours)

  • Louise says:

    from Louise
    I actually was at a function with two cousins who were discussing weight loss programs. The 58 year old, slender about a size 6 or 8, was on the Medifast diet, and had lost 10 pounds in 2 mos. This is the one where they send you the food. She felt a little guilty because she ate a strawberry one day. Her usual snack is a couple nuts, very little carbs, very limited variety. She is one of those who will probably keep some of it off, but will never get the issues besieged by most of us.
    She was very focused and matter of fact about it all.
    The other cousin, age 62 or so, struggles being about a size 10. They both have the “pear” issue. This one as well as the other try to maintain 1000 calories a day.
    She is frustrated because a few years back she lost over 20 pounds and of course gained it back because she didn’t eat enough of any kind of foods. Kept it at 800 to 1000 cal./day.
    I felt pretty good about being much larger than them, yet more relaxed about calories and diets. We had a wonderful luncheon meal, all prepared healthily, and a strawberry parfait for dessert. I had no qualms about enjoying all of it.
    Keep that focus and leave the “talk” behind is surely the best advice.

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