I have found in over 25 years of talking to women about their struggles with their bodies and overeating, that one dynamic that comes up often is the feeling of wanting to rebel. Against diets (who wouldn’t?!), food rules, ways of being.
I believe this is healthy, natural, and a signal from your intuitive self that it wants your attention.
You will never be happy living by somebody else’s rules. You will not feel satisfied, filled up, nourished when trying to uphold other peoples’ standards of happiness, well-being, wellness.
You need your own rules. You deserve your own rules.
My list of personal commandments
Try writing your own list of personal commandments. Here are a few of mine as examples:
1. Early to bed early to rise
2. Hug anyone who will accept one
3. Say I love you whenever possible
4. Laugh hard
5. Stay in present time
6. Let myself be seen and heard, as myself
7. Find and create beauty everywhere
8. Bring nature inside
9. Don’t attach to the spectacle
10. Don’t say everything I think
11. Let it go
12. Act from inspiration more than fear
Write your own manifesto
At Green Mountain, we have what is called a “Womanifesto” – a sort of code and ideology for living well that represents the Green Mountain philosophy.
I think every one of us could use our own, very specific, guidelines that remind us of how we want to live, and what we truly believe in.
Naming these for your self is powerful. It may also make you happier. Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project writes about her own guidelines for writing that she calls the happiness Commandments.
Living in congruence is huge
What does this have to do with getting relief from overeating?
Plenty. When you begin to connect with what is in your heart, what is meaningful to you and then choose to live by it, you are living in congruence. Where your heart and mind are no longer separate. Your beliefs and values and words, then match your actions and your choices.
This feels good on a very deep level. It allows you to live comfortably in your skin with less shame and less guilt. You live true to yourself and not somebody else’s.
And, your rebel-self doesn’t have to act up and sabotage you because it’s not being heard.
Please let me know what you decide should be on your own manifesto. I can’t wait to hear.