Self-Bullying: Can I Get A Witness?


Can I get a witness? One intervention that can help stop bullying is educating the witnesses, the people who observe the bullying, to speak up in situations in which they feel safe or get help if they don’t feel safe. The issue of bullying is so widespread, there are even educational campaigns to help witnesses take action.

So, what happens when you are self-bullying? Know that self bullying hurts you as much as bullying hurts a child in school.

In “Perfect” by Pink she sings:

 “You’re so mean when you talk/ to yourself/ change the voices in your head/ make them like you instead.”

This is self-bullying. So just like with actually bullying, the intervention for self bullying is to educate the witness. YOU.

This is the witness in your own head. Your witness part has perspective, it can look at the situation from a bird’s eye point of view. You might call this part of you your wise self.  This is the part of ourselves that we use with other people, that notices what hurts someone else. Your witness allows you to be mindful of what is happening in the “now.”

3 steps to creating a witness to decrease self-bullying

  1. Notice when you are self-bullying. Signs to look for include a knot in your stomach, not wanting to socialize, focusing on feeling fat. You have to notice when you are being mean to yourself before you can do anything about it.
  2. Use your witness voice: Say “Ok, here I go again self bullying. I know this absolutely doesn’t help me. The more I self bully the worse I will feel.”
  3. Listen to a song, such as Pink’s, or read a poem to interrupt the self-bullying to stop it in its tracks and shift your perspective.

Do you have a song that supports your witness and decreases your self-bullying?

One response to “Self-Bullying: Can I Get A Witness?”

  1. Deborah says:

    Love this post! I’m trying to focus on my self-talk, but after 40+years it’s hard to change some habits!


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About the Author

Marsha Hudnall, MS, RDN, CD

Marsha has been a guiding force at Green Mountain at Fox Run since 1986. In addition to overseeing a professional program that helps women establish sustainable approaches to healthy living, she is a respected thought leader when it comes to managing eating, emotions and weight. She has been a voice of reason for the last three decades in helping people move away from diets, an area in which she is personally as well as professionally versed. An accomplished writer and speaker, Marsha is the author of six books, including the online course Disordered Eating in Active and Sedentary Individuals (co-authored by Karin Kratina, PhD, RD, Human Kinetics), What You Need to Know about Carbohydrates (Academy for Nutrition and Dietetics [The Academy]), What You Need to Know about Vitamin and Mineral Supplements (The Academy), and The Pregnancy Cookbook (co-authored by Donna Shields, RD, Berkeley Publishing). She has worked extensively on a national basis to educate the public about nutrition and the impact of dieting on eating behaviors, including binge eating and emotional eating. Active in many organizations helping to further the cause of health and wellness, Marsha currently serves as vice chair of the Binge Eating Disorder Association and vice president of The Center for Mindful Eating and has been active in the Association for Size Diversity and Health in support of Health at Every Size(R) principles.

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