Responding to the Twinkie Apocalypse

By Robyn Priebe on 11/26/2012
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“There’s a box of Twinkies in that grocery store. Not just any box of Twinkies, the last box of Twinkies that anyone will enjoy in the whole universe. Believe it or not, Twinkies have an expiration date. Some day very soon, life’s little Twinkie gauge is gonna go… empty.”“Zombieland”

Rumors abound that Twinkies may be no more, so what’s a normal response to news such as this? Apparently you should:

  1. Get in your car and immediately drive to the nearest store selling Twinkies to buy the remaining stock.
  2. Start bidding on Twinkies on Ebay. I found one amazing deal where you could buy TWO FULL BOXES (that’s 20 whole Twinkies, folks!!) for $4300.
  3. If you are lucky enough to score a box, debate whether to eat them all now or save them as collectors’ items to be sold 20 years from now. A solid retirement plan if you ask me.
  4. If you can’t find Twinkies, buy things similar to Twinkies (Little Debbie, Drakes, etc…) and eat those instead.
  5. Frantically search online for homemade Twinkie recipes; clearly if Hostess won’t make them, you must.
  6. Lastly, post on your Facebook page about the Twinkies you bought and ate, even though you admit you don’t  like them.

All of this makes sense, does it not? Well, I can’t say it does to me, but I never liked Twinkies. The odd thing is that I found so many people proclaiming to dislike Twinkies and yet still going out to buy them with the plan to eat them.

I get hoarding them for the Zombie Apocalypse – that makes sense. But eating them when you don’t even like them is a tell-tale sign of a “forbidden fruit response” or the “last-supper effect.” Call it what you will, we all want what we can’t have… even if we don’t always like what we can’t have. Kick it around while you’re savoring your snack cakes.

I’m wondering if Twinkies were a prominent ingredient in Thanksgiving spreads.  Report back if they made your dinner table. I’m curious.

Photo by Christian Cable

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