Is It Really Self Sabotage?

By Darla Breckenridge on 10/15/2012
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What if self sabotage of healthy behaviors isn’t self sabotage, but rebel behavior? And rebel behavior is trying to protect you from self criticism and deprivation.

Rebel behavior hides the candy or cookies so nobody will see you eating what you love. Makes you eat fast so you won’t be caught. There doesn’t even have to be anyone else in the house for rebel behavior to occur.

Believe it or not, rebel behavior is trying to help you…. help you to get something just for your, to give you a little excitement in your life, even if it comes from sneaking or hiding food.

When you tell yourself you really should be walking or you really shouldn’t be eating that, you might hear the rebel voice in your head say ” Oh yeah, just try and make me…”.

The more you feel criticized by someone else or yourself, the more creative rebel behavior becomes and in fact, the sneakier it gets.

Rebel behavior presents as sneaky eating or other sneaky behaviors:

  • Munching along while you prepare food, and pretending it doesn’t “count” as you sit down to eat dinner.
  • Sneaking into the kitchen as soon as they go to bed and looking over your shoulder as you grab the ice cream.
  • You hide those new red shoes under the bed so your partner doesn’t get wind of more shopping.
  • You feel like you are being bad and do it anyway.

Rebel behavior gives you a little “jazz” and often a “yikes, I’m caught” smile just even talking about it.

I think rebel behavior might also be an attempt at coping with depression.  The sneakiness helps you to feel alive, gives you a shot of adrenaline and helps to deal with  boredom. But for sure, it helps you cope with criticism.

My next blog will be on adding healthy rebel behaviors to your life and  how they can help you create “jazz” without turning to habits that don’t work for you.

What are your rebel behaviors?

 

 

3 Responses (Add Yours)

  • katty says:

    thanks for this post. It is healing to my dear battered soul. It took almost 15 years to get over bulimia, and if I am not paying close attention, the behaviour starts crawling back in silently. So, I have to keep an eye on it at all times. I never understood self-sabotage- why would I sabotage myself when I wanted to heal so badly? But rebel behaviour, that makes sense! I’ll look forward to your next post!

    • Darla says:

      Hi Katty, Thanks for writing and noticing your own rebel behavior. I will focus on healthy rebel behaviors next Monday. The journey of healing a battered soul takes all kinds of strategies. Good for you. Darla

  • Deborah says:

    Where should I start???? I constantly rebel against what I think I should be doing – eat unhealthily, make unhealthy decisions etc. Like you suggest, I think it gives me a sense of power and control. (Ha ha! I know I shouldn’t be eating these…. xxx, but I’m going to do it anyway!)

    Deb

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