Fat, Fat, Fat-the critical voice inside

By Darla Breckenridge
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We are so hard on our bodies and just keep focusing on weight loss.

I am not talking about the ways we don’t take care of ourselves physically.  I am talking about our negative self talk.

Could I pay you large sums of money to talk to any child the way you talk to yourself?  No!

Jan Chozen Bays, M.D. discusses the inner critic and suggests learning to listen for the critic. By changing the ways we talk to ourselves we can feel better, have more energy and add pleasure to our lives.

“The energy of the Inner Critic/Outer Judge can be transformed. This is possible for anyone to do. The transformed energy offer us many gifts: clarity, discernment, determination to change things that are not working optimally, and access to a storehouse of energy and creativity that can be used for good in our lives and in the world. “~Dr. Bays

I believe the first step to changing your critical voice is to notice.  You can’t do a dang thing about the criticism until you recognize it.  So, when you are feeling stressed, down, or funky, tune in and listen to the what you are saying.  Dr. Bays suggests to listen for its favorite hurtful words:

  • you are TOO ___ 
  • you ALWAYS ___
  • you NEVER ___
  • You are SO ____
  • you SHOULD ____
  • you SHOULDN’T ____

Listening and noticing “helps to separate from the Inner Critic to ask if what it is saying is something that would be good for a mother to say to a child. Or would it be heard as abusive language?”

And then be ready once you recognize the hurtful words be ready to say:

Even though I feel fat, I deeply love and accept myself.

You don’t have to believe these words, you just have to start saying them, again and again to argue with the inner critic.

Can you imagine practicing kindness to you inside your head today?

 

2 Responses (Add Yours)

  • Kim says:

    I have a list of positive affirmations that I use whenever I hear the negative self talk starting up. I’ve got 5 memorized and say them to myself a few times over until the wave of negativity passes. That’s the piece that took me so long to get. Negative phases pass just like anything else. You just have to ride the wave knowing it will eventually wash up and dissipate.

  • Judith C. Tingley Ph.D. says:

    This is such a good and important piece of information. First — just notice that negative inner critic. There are lots of ways to let go of negative self-talk in addition to affirmations.

    You can find more about NST and ways to eliminate it at http://www.intelligentwomenonly.com because lots of women of all ages and styles have the negative self-talk habit. It’s gotta go!

    Green Mountain is on my site’s blog roll.

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