Ending Relationships


I’m almost sure no one has reached this point in life without having ended by choice or circumstances meaningful relationships – be they with someone who’s still alive but changed, someone who’s rejected you or you them, or someone who has died.

Although Cathy Davidson’s book, Now You See It, How the Brain Science of Attention Will Transform the Way We Live, Work and Learn, is about largely about understanding and adapting in the digital age, I found much of her thinking applicable to surviving the loss of an important relationship. She says repeatedly in different contexts that to adapt to change we must learn, unlearn, relearn. Distractions from the norm, from those things to which we’re inured, she says, help us see opportunities to relearn once we’ve agreed with ourselves to unlearn the familiar.

In his book, The Way of Transitions, William Bridges, gives similar advice:


Take a step forward.

Ask yourself: What do I need to know? What’s useful for me right now?

Who do I have for support?

When things change, trying to stay in one place, doing the same things usually doesn’t work.

The ability to learn is an asset, a resource. Unlearning is a skill.

We need both for relearning and adapting to changes where routines, habits, hopes and dreams have been lost with the ending of the relationship, which often includes the ending of other “con-joined” relationships.

What  is something you want  learn or practice unlearning when it comes to the  difficult passage of the ending of a relationship?


4 responses to “Ending Relationships”

  1. Rachel says:

    Thanks Darla! Exactly the article I needed today.

  2. O says:

    This one season Moncler outlet online store in colour and material found a new language.

  3. Sunday Social | My Blog says:

    […] enjoyed this article on Ending Relationships by Darla on Green Mountain at Fox […]

  4. emedoutlet says:

    Change is the synonym of life. Life keeps on changing every day, every hour, and every moment. We also need to change ourself with the time, of course keeping our morals and ideals intact.

    Go with the wind. That’s a life.

    Thanks for very inspiring post

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About the Author

Marsha Hudnall, MS, RDN, CD

If you’re looking for an embodiment of dedication disguised as obsession, look no further. Marsha is a registered dietitian who has spent the last four decades working to help women give up dieting rules and understand how to truly take care of themselves. Her mission in life is to help women learn to enjoy eating and living well, without worries about their weight. She encourages women to embrace their love of food, which you might call being a foodie. If so, it’s appropriate because being a foodie means you pay attention when you eat. That’s a recipe made in heaven for eating well. Marsha is the President and Co-Owner of Green Mountain at Fox Run.

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