Ending Relationships

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I’m almost sure no one has reached this point in life without having ended by choice or circumstances meaningful relationships – be they with someone who’s still alive but changed, someone who’s rejected you or you them, or someone who has died.

Although Cathy Davidson’s book, Now You See It, How the Brain Science of Attention Will Transform the Way We Live, Work and Learn, is about largely about understanding and adapting in the digital age, I found much of her thinking applicable to surviving the loss of an important relationship. She says repeatedly in different contexts that to adapt to change we must learn, unlearn, relearn. Distractions from the norm, from those things to which we’re inured, she says, help us see opportunities to relearn once we’ve agreed with ourselves to unlearn the familiar.

In his book, The Way of Transitions, William Bridges, gives similar advice:

Re-orient.

Take a step forward.

Ask yourself: What do I need to know? What’s useful for me right now?

Who do I have for support?

When things change, trying to stay in one place, doing the same things usually doesn’t work.

The ability to learn is an asset, a resource. Unlearning is a skill.

We need both for relearning and adapting to changes where routines, habits, hopes and dreams have been lost with the ending of the relationship, which often includes the ending of other “con-joined” relationships.

What  is something you want  learn or practice unlearning when it comes to the  difficult passage of the ending of a relationship?

 


4 responses to “Ending Relationships”

  1. Rachel says:

    Thanks Darla! Exactly the article I needed today.

  2. O says:

    This one season Moncler outlet online store in colour and material found a new language.

  3. Sunday Social | My Blog says:

    […] enjoyed this article on Ending Relationships by Darla on Green Mountain at Fox […]

  4. emedoutlet says:

    Change is the synonym of life. Life keeps on changing every day, every hour, and every moment. We also need to change ourself with the time, of course keeping our morals and ideals intact.

    Go with the wind. That’s a life.

    Thanks for very inspiring post

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About the Author

Marsha Hudnall, MS, RDN, CD

Marsha has been a guiding force at Green Mountain at Fox Run since 1986. In addition to overseeing a professional program that helps women establish sustainable approaches to healthy living, she is a respected thought leader when it comes to managing eating, emotions and weight. She has been a voice of reason for the last three decades in helping people move away from diets, an area in which she is personally as well as professionally versed. An accomplished writer and speaker, Marsha is the author of six books, including the online course Disordered Eating in Active and Sedentary Individuals (co-authored by Karin Kratina, PhD, RD, Human Kinetics), What You Need to Know about Carbohydrates (Academy for Nutrition and Dietetics [The Academy]), What You Need to Know about Vitamin and Mineral Supplements (The Academy), and The Pregnancy Cookbook (co-authored by Donna Shields, RD, Berkeley Publishing). She has worked extensively on a national basis to educate the public about nutrition and the impact of dieting on eating behaviors, including binge eating and emotional eating. Active in many organizations helping to further the cause of health and wellness, Marsha currently serves as vice chair of the Binge Eating Disorder Association and vice president of The Center for Mindful Eating and has been active in the Association for Size Diversity and Health in support of Health at Every Size(R) principles.

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