Today’s post on changing negative body image is by Darla Breckenridge, our psychologist-masters at Green Mountain.
I feel so honored to work individually with the women who choose to see me at Green Mountain at Fox Run! The power of the transformation gained by moving through pain amazes me each time I have the privilege of working individually with a participant. This week I was aware of how the pain can twist and turn and become a negative body image. The ways in which women think and talk about their bodies is in language that they would NEVER use with any other human being.
The force of this language is toxic to our self esteem. Is there any way to use this pattern to our advantage and soften the critical voice? I have been thinking that the negative self talk could be used as a cue to prompt a healthy, neutral or (egads!) positive self statement. Many repetitions of healthy self talk can begin to influence your core beliefs about your body and dramatically improve body image.
Awareness is the first step in changing self talk. When you hear yourself say “I hate my body,” PERK UP, notice and be ready to frequently and diligently say something like “I appreciate that my body made it up the hill” or “My arms worked well for me today when I was gardening” or “Wow! Even with my ankle hurting, I was able to do all that power shopping” or “Thank you for helping me get out of bed, body.”
Preparing your healthy self statements in advance will make it easier for you to use them when you need them. Write them down, say them in the car and repeat them often and with the intention of encouraging yourself.
What is a healthy statement that you could use when your thoughts are hurtful or self loathing? I think that we can support each other so much by sharing healthy self talk and learning from each other. Post a healthy self statement that someone else might be able to use if they can’t come up with one on their own.
May you notice what amazing feats your body accomplished for you today and share your success with us.
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for me it is still as “simple” as rememberingREMINDING to treat myself as I would a friend.
or, these mamadays, as I would my daughter.
What’s amazing to me is that I used to really hate my body and now that I love it, I can’t imagine any other way of being. It’s seems like a dream…a million years ago.
Here are my tips:
Wait to feel the actual physical sensation of love…then turn it inward. Sometimes when I do this, I get a little teary, in a good way.
-be grateful (out loud) for everything your body does for you…and it does A LOT!!
-take a deep breath, soften your eyes (both physically and mentally) and think about something that makes you feel all googly in your heart…a baby, a kitten, a lover
KCLAnderson (Karen)´s last blog ..It’s A Matter Of Self Trust
I wrote an article about Self Esteem that was favorably received….
http://www.therevolvingdiet.com/2010/05/me-you-and-selfesteem-.html
My site is about:
One Woman
365 Days
A Different Diet Weekly
A blog about seeing if following different diets can provide real results….I am losing slow and steady!!!
http://www.facebook.com/#!/video/video.php?v=393561765678
I hope you can access this link. It made me think of your post immediately. This little girl has got postivite self talk down!
It looks like you’ll need to cut and paste the link I just posted versus clicking on it. It’s worth it; take a peek.
While I absolutely believe in the power of positive self-talk, I feel this is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. My own long, winding path out of the darkness of self-hate had many twists and turns. I document a lot of this experience on my website, but here are 5 basic steps to getting to the place where you are *allowing* yourself to speak and think kindly about your own body:
Taken from: http://www.ieatreal.com/articles/realyou
#1 Instead of feeling: Conditioned to please others
Try: Putting yourself first, and then nourishing others
#2 Instead of feeling: Intense deprivation at every ‘healthy’ meal
Try: Joyful anticipation of every meal (regardless of whether its healthy or not!)
#3 Instead of feeling: Angry that you will never be perfect
Try: Letting your freak flag fly! (finding your own, unique, life-affirming style)
#4 Instead of feeling: Jealousy towards others that are thinner, richer, healthier, etc.
Try: Activating appreciation of others’ beauty to boost your own confidence. (using — and strengthening — your ‘compliment muscle’ and then learning to turn in inward as well!)
#5 Instead of feeling: Anxiety over what foods are good and bad for your body
Try: A sensual desire to connect with the food that you enjoy on a primal, passionate level. Are you blushing? Then you really need this one!
A quick way to jump-start your love affair with food: go to the grocery store (no shopping list, kids in tow!) and spend about 20 minutes in the produce aisle just taking in the produce with ALL of your senses – notice the colors, smells, textures – and then pick 3 items to take home and enjoy – just for you!
Be well,
Liz
Each time I do some form of exercise, I congratulate myself…everything from “I never knew I could do 64 laps” to “yeah, I walked down the hall to my boss’ office, rather than buzzing her on the intercom”. Years of beating myself up will not disappear instantly. My husband says I’m harder on myself than I am on anyone else, so I’m trying to always remember to pat myself on the back! Green Mountain helped me with this a lot.
Thanks for the post. I really needed that today.
Lori Lynn´s last blog ..
Hi Liz, I loved your suggestions about moving into a loving feeling place with your body. You are so right that the path is twisty, dark and deeply scary. Each of your suggestions reminds me of the possibility of transforming loathing into acceptance and then into love. Thank you for you post. Darla
Oh yes, we’re so used to listening to that critical voice that’s so quick to point out our flaws, real or imagined! When it’s our bodies, the flaws are more-often-than-not imagined, but we think and feel that the flaws are real, it’s *so* painful! Change is possible, I’ve done it, and it started just the way you say – with recognising what the thoughts actually are, challenging them, and having another perspective ready to jump to our defense. The meridian tapping therapies, like EFT, are a fantastic self-help tool as well, that really reinforce the transformation of these painful thoughts and feelings into ones that serve us.