The Binge Eating Diaries: It’s Time for Jacki to Say Goodbye

GoodbyeJackie_blogThis is (by far) the most difficult blog I’ve ever written. It’s as if I’m volunteering to cut off one of my life support lines or jump into the deep end without so much as an arm floaty.

And that’s exactly why it’s time to do it. I’m ready to embark on some new adventures and to learn how to breathe on my own and swim in my own waters. It’s time for me to say goodbye to this blog and to a huge part of my life.

But first – I’ve got a few last things to say. (How unusual, huh?)

My journey wouldn’t have been the same without The Binge Eating Diaries… and without YOU.

So, first of all – thank you.

I’ve been writing for Green Mountain since shortly after my one-month stay back in the summer of 2011. Writing about my journey was the best therapy money couldn’t buy. It helped bring me back to life, it gave me a goal, and it reminded me that I’ve got a voice worth sharing.

Over time, a blog here or there turned into what you and I have come to know as The Binge Eating Diaries.

The series would have been short lived if it wasn’t for you. If you hadn’t kept reading, I wouldn’t have been able to continue writing.

This outlet has been SO important to me. So, thank you again for letting me share my darkest moments, deepest desires, countless frustrations, and empowering triumphs.

I hope that my stories, anecdotes, jokes, and honesty have provided you with something – a smile, a laugh, or a feeling that you’re not alone. Those weird thoughts, uncomfortable feelings, and over-the-top food moods you have? I have them, too. All of them.  And I’ve become very good at identifying them, acknowledging them, and changing them for the better.

It’s a work-in-progress. We’re all works-in-progress.

It’s been a beautiful and disastrous journey thus far, and it’s only going to get more beautiful and disastrous.

That’s life. And I think I’m ready to accept that.

Climb a staircase, fall down a few steps – reach for the stars, get hit with an ASSteriod.

Up and down, back and forth, around and around and around we go. Once we come to understand that there’s no finish line, no perfect moment or “lucky number weight” that will fake fix or faux cure us… we will all feel so might lighter – so much less burdened.

We are not to be fixed or cured. Life is all about learning, and (hopefully one day) learning to love ourselves.

I’m beginning to truly believe that self-actualization doesn’t come when you finally fit into a size 4 pair of jeans. I’m thinking that it actually comes when you realize that those pants don’t dictate your worth.

In fact, the only thing does determine your worth is how you feel about yourself. So, before I go, I urge you to consider the following with me, right here, one last time.

14 Considerations for Women Who Struggle with Eating & Weight

  1. Treat yourself the way you do the ones you love.
  2. Speak to yourself the way you would speak to a child.
  3. Empower yourself to continue moving forward through the moments that make you want to scream “WHY ME” at the top of your lungs until you’ve no breath left.
  4. Enjoy the smallest conquests and sparkly seconds – when you walk the stairs instead of riding the elevator, when you notice the leaves changing color, when you taste something incredible for the very first time.
  5. Stop comparing yourself to anyone but you. You’re not better or worse – you’re YOU for better or for worse. Care for yourself through the “worse” and life will get a whole lot better.
  6. Take some time to really figure out what makes you happy and then actually try to do it every once in a while!
  7. Stand up for yourself when your inner-bully starts battling. Fight for the parts of you that need a little help. Be present and strong for your body, heart, mind, and soul.
  8. Acknowledge emotional eating or bingeing when it happens. Learn from every moment. Do not punish yourself. Let go of the guilt before it eats you alive. You didn’t do anything wrong. You were self-soothing. You were surviving. You are a beautiful being.
  9. Don’t punish yourself for being flawed. We. Are. ALL. Flawed.
  10. Don’t forget to thank your body for everything it does for you – walking, talking, moving, biking, smiling, hugging, cooking, etc.
  11. Stop waiting for tomorrow to take care of yourself. Start right now – even if it’s in a small way.
  12. Count every blessing and teeny tiny miracle you witness.
  13. Ask your body questions, and give it time to answer you. “Are you hungry, stomach? Are you sad, mind? Are you heavy, heart?”
  14. Stop waiting for happiness to find you. Create it and then protect it like your life depends on it… because ultimately – it does.

And always remember… “You is kind. You is smart. You is important. “ – The Help, 2011

Until we meet again.


Oh and hey… I’m not planning on disappearing forever. (You think you can get rid of me that easily? HA!) Green Mountain is a home away from home to me – my safe place, and I have a feeling I’ll be back here and there to blab about an important life lesson I’ve learned or to rant about another “WTF” moment that I just can’t possibly go another moment without sharing with you.

In the meantime, I really encourage you to check out other entries on the site, written by incredible minds and top-notch experts. The tips and techniques shared on this blog can be extremely useful tools. Give ‘em a read, try ‘em out, save ‘em in your toolbox , or move on to the next one. Keep searching for what works for YOU (not the rest of the world).

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